And then she said…
by MyNameIsJeffNImLost
Summary: 100 doses of short 1-shots for what could have been said if Season 8 lasted a few more seconds. Includes SamJack shippiness, humor, innuendo, honesty, technobabble, and general randomness.
1. Location, location, location

Gotta love Threads/Moebius tags. I think they work so well in fan fiction because we saw the scene twice but never got a full explanation of what happened at Jack's cabin. Expect some SamJack shippiness, humor, innuendo, honesty, technobabble, and general randomness.

The chapters are unrelated takes of exclusively dialog and a few sound effects. Every chapter starts with the same iconic cabin scene from Moebius. Every chapter brings something different, although admittedly some conversations work better than others. The 101st chapter is an author's note which includes lists of some of the most popular chapters.

Disclaimer: Nobody else owns anything here, so why would I?

Disclaimer 2: No beta. Why would I sucker/obligate/subject anyone into reading this when they didn't want to?

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**Take 1: Location, location, location**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir?"

"Colonel?"

"I'm kinda sore from last night."

"Hey! The floor wasn't my idea."

"Mine either. It just… happened."

"Not that I'm complaining, but it's not the best for the knees."

"So we're agreed then?"

"Yes. _Especially_ with the guys here now."

"Tonight, we'll use the bed."

"Bed it is."


	2. Couldn't have waited

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**Take 2: Couldn't have waited**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Speaking of other things we should have done years ago."

"You know we could have gone fishing last night when we got here."

"Seriously? As if we were going to wait another day for that to happen."

"You're right, Carter. Like usual."


	3. Yasureyoubetcha!

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**Take 3: Ya Sure, You Betcha!**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So, I was thinking."

"About?"

"That."

"Oh, that."

"So, do you think?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Ya Sure, You Betcha!"

"Good. Me too."


	4. Good question

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**Take 4: Good question**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir?"

"Carter?"

"Why _did _we invite the guys?"

"Good question."


	5. Need help?

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**Take 5: Need help?**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"As great as this is, I was thinking of changing and doing some sun bathing."

"Need help?"

"I think I could manage by myself. But company is always appreciated."


	6. Do they know?

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**Take 6: Do you think they know?**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, do you think they know?"

"Teal'c probably does. If he didn't before, he probably just figured it out with his Jaffa super-hearing. And Daniel should figure it out soon, _Sam._"

"Oops, right. Do you think they know we know they know?"

"Huh?"

"Sorry, _Sir_. Nevermind."


	7. Do they know we know?

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**Take 7: Do they know we know?**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Teal'c, do you think they know we know?"

"Indeed. DanielJackson. In fact, I believe they know we know they know we know."

"Huh?"

"It is from the popular Earth situational comedy _Friends_."

"Huh?"


	8. Aren't they cute?

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**Take 8: Aren't they cute?**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Teal'c, look at them out on that dock together. Aren't they so cute?"

"Don't give me that eyebrow. You think they should be together as much as I do."

"Even more, DanielJackson. However I would never call the great warriors of SG-1 'cute.' "


	9. Thanksgiving

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving!

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**Take 9: Thanksgiving**

Category for this take: Romance / Friendship

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Danny boy, thanks for bringing the beer."

"No problem, Jack."

"Sir, I was thinking we have a lot more to be thankful for that just the beer."

"I'll be really thankful if someone would toss me a beer. I can't reach it from this chair."

"I was thinking more on a grander scale."

"Carter, you are always thinking on a grander scale than the rest of us."

"Never mind."

"Oh don't give up that easily, Carter. Of what, pray tell, were you thinking we should be thankful?"

"Well, I'm certain Teal'c is thankful that the Jaffa are finally free."

"Indeed, ColonelCarter"

"The Goa'uld are mostly gone."

"Thanks to your replidouble."

"I am very thankful she is gone."

"Thanks to you, Dad, and Selmak. And no, I am not thanking Ba'al!"

"Anubis is gone."

"Thanks to Oma."

"If you say so Danny. What else Carter?"

"We're both thankful Daniel stopped the self destruct."

"That would have blown. Literally. I'm thankful Carter has stopped bugging me about a memorial."

"Hey!"

"Daniel, that's the General's way of saying we're very thankful you are back. And Sir, for the record, I was the first to believe you that Daniel might have ascended."

"Ok, but I refuse to unnecessarily say nice things until I see a body that has been fully autopsied."

"Thanks, Jack."

"You're welcome, Daniel. Anything else, Carter?"

"I'm thankful I didn't make a huge personal mistake."

"We are all thankful about that one."

"Daniel, I thought you liked Pete."

"Umm, can I add something?"

"Nice evasive. Daniel, what are you thankful for?"

"I'm thankful you two are finally together"

"What?"

"We're not."

"You're not? Come on, you don't have to hide it from Teal'c and me."

"We're not together. Yet. But I'm thankful Sam and I have the option."

"Not yet. We're waiting until my transfer to Area 51 is official."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. It's not official until I report a week from Monday."

"I can't believe you two are _still_ waiting. As someone who recently had a near-death experience-"

"A _death_ experience, Daniel. You don't do near-death. You do death, again, and again. We're all getting tired of it."

"Whatever, Jack. I'm getting tired of your unresolved sexual—"

"Daniel! I would be thankful if you would just drop it."

"It was your topic, Sam."

"I would be thankful if Teal'c and Daniel would leave now."

"Me too, Sir."

"Teal'c, could you throw Daniel in the pond, and then throw me a beer? I would be very thankful."


	10. Euphemism

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**Take 10: Euphemism**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"You know, Sir, I always thought fishing was a euphemism."

"What?"

"A euphemism: an inoffensive substitution for something else. But here we are, actually fishing."

"I know what euphemism means, Carter. What did you think fishing was a euphemism for?"

"Well… you know."

"I don't think I do. Why don't you pretend this is one of your great theories and spell it out for me?"

"Well... umm…"

"Carter!"

"I thought you meant sex."

"What!?"

"I thought you meant sex!"

"You thought I was inviting you up here for sex?"

"Yes, Sir."

"So let me get this straight, a few years ago, when you almost accepted my invitation but Thor kidnapped me, you were agreeing to…"

"Yeees."

"And when you accept my invitation this time, you were agreeing to…"

"Yessss."

"If that's really the case, what are we doing out here?"

"I thought we were fishing."

"I really like fishing, but seriously, why didn't you speak up sooner?"

"I thought I just did."

"Daniel! Teal'c! You two take over here. I need Carter's help with something inside the cabin that has been neglected for a few years. We'll see you in a couple of hours."


	11. Why are we here?

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**Take 11: Why are we here?**

Category for this take: Romance / Friendship

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Teal'c, why are we here?"

"Because GeneralO'Neill invited us, DanielJackson."

"I wonder why did he did that."

"I believe our role as chaperons was intended to encourage to ColonelCarter to accept GeneralO'Neill's invitation."

"Ok, but why did we actually come?"

"That, is a good question."

"So do you think we should drop off this stuff and leave?"

"Indeed."

"Do you think they would notice if we just left?"

"No I do not. I think they might actually prefer it."


	12. After last night

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**Take 12: After last night**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Close enough, Sir?"

"After what we _finally_ did last night, there is no way I'm risking it."

"So you would rather risk the timeline than our new sex life?" 

"Uhhhh, yes."

"It's a good decision, of course. Just because you have never caught a fish doesn't mean there weren't always fish in your pond."

"Are you disparaging my fishing skills?"

"Never Jack. I'm just trying to help you find a better reason."

"Now you are disparaging my nocturnal skills."

"Absolutely not! Sorry, I mean... you were really..."

"Just kidding, Sam. You're not my 2IC anymore, so you don't have to come up with reasons to support my decisions."

"I do support your original reason, and I'll just stop talking now."

"Voluntarily? Last night changed a lot of things."


	13. NASA

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**Take 13: NASA**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"You're probably right, Sir."

"I am?"

"Well, we could try to fix it. However instead of fixing the timeline, we might make it worse."

"How could we make it worse?"

"Well, Sir, you could end up running Arctic training exercises, I could end up in NASA, Daniel could be a crazy archeologist stuck in Egypt, and Teal'c could be Ba'al's first prime." 

"That would be bad."

"And we might never have met."

"That would be really bad. So like I said, 'Close enough.'"


	14. Kerry Shanahan

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**Take 14: Kerry Shanahan**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"You're probably right, Sir."

"I am?"

"Well, we could try to fix it. However instead of fixing the timeline, we might make it worse."

"How could we make it worse, _Sam_?"

"Well, _Jack_, instead of finally being together, you could still be seeing Kerry and I could still be marrying Pete tomorrow." 

"That would be bad. Or even worse, Kerry could be marrying Pete tomorrow."

"How so? That sounds like a way everyone could be happy. Well, maybe not Kerry."

"If Pete and Kerry got together, their offspring would be the sign of the apocalypse, or a host candidate for the next Goa'uld evil overlord, or something like that."

"Ok, that would be worse."


	15. No consequences

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**Take 15: No consequences**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, if this changed, who knows what else might have changed. We have to try to restore the timeline."

"What if we make things worse?"

"We'll pack the first video, plus extra videos and batteries. Then the next version of us will have more information to fix it." 

"Do we have to go now? I have a fish to catch first."

"Sir!"

"I'll toss it back. It should be caught at least once."

"If we succeed, the fish won't exist anymore. It won't matter if it is caught once."

"So, no consequences then."

"Well, yeah, I guess so."

"Hmmm, this is is something I have experience with. Last time I surprised you. You participated, but we didn't have much time. This time, maybe we could take our time, Samantha."

"No consequences, Jack? I think that is a great idea."

"Teal'c, Daniel, pack up and head back to the SGC. We have a mission in ancient Egypt. Samantha and I will be flying down to join you tomorrow at 1700 for a briefing. We have something important to do here first."


	16. As seen on TV

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**Take 16: As seen on TV**

Category for this take: Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Teal'c, was that a fish?"

"Yes it was, DanielJackson."

"I thought you said there was no fish in Jack's pond. The tape also said there was no fish in Jack's pond."

"Indeed."

"Does this me we get to go back and fix things? I'll admit I was a little jealous of the other me on the tape who got to see ancient Egypt first-hand."

"I am sorry to disappoint you."

"You ordered fish to be added to the pond, didn't you?"

"A great many things can be ordered through the shopping channels of Earth."

"Maybe you should tell Sam. She's likely to overreact and start planning a mission to fix the timeline."


	17. Fresh water

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**Take 17: Fresh water**

Category for this take: Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, are those dead fish over there?"

"It looks like it. I wonder... Teal'c!"

"O'Neill?"

"Did you have fish added to my pond?"

"I did indeed. I thought it would provide us with more fulfilling entertainment."

"Next time, make certain they are _fresh water_ fish, not salt water fish. And for the record, Sam and I have our evening entertainment already planned. I would suggest you and Danny boy find somewhere else to be later tonight. Unfortunately, we all have some dead fish to retrieve first."

"How romantic, Jack!"


	18. Just trust the genius

A/N: Sorry, this one is in typical Stargate fashion: heavy on tech, light on romance.

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**Take 18: Just trust the genius**

Category for this take: Sci-Fi / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, I've been doing some research about time travel."

"You have been doing research? Let me guess, _Back the Future_."

"One, two, and three. Plus the Star Trek Time Travel DVD set. Walter recommended _Twelve Monkeys_, but I'm not sure if that is a real movie. It all started with the _Simpsons Tree House of Horror V_ episode."

"Those are all fiction, Sir." 

"I know, so I looked at that temporal mechanics book in your lab. It was a little heavy on the math."

"It had to be. Most of that book is theory."

"Exactly. That's my problem. Everything is fiction or theory."

"Sir, why were you researching time travel?"

"I figured since we do that every so often, I should understand it better. As we're the only people who have actually travelled backwards in time, I thought maybe you could help me out."

"Ok. I'll try. Where do you want me to start?"

"I know it is really, really bad if you travel in time and mess with the timeline. Things like paradoxes can occur."

"Yes. For example, with the grandfather paradox, if you went back in time and killed your grandfather before your father was born, you would never exist to kill your grandfather."

"Ok. But is still possible to do things like pass Hammond notes and pass along messages through Cassie."

"Right. In both circumstances there was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Someone told someone what to do to ensure something they know is supposed to happen, still happens."

"So we know Cassie is going to live a long time and the gateroom is going to be mostly abandoned at that time."

"I guess so. I have tried not to dwell on that. We really don't what else happened. Cassie could have been one of the last hundred people on Earth. Earth might have built or acquired a new Stargate, leaving the old one at the SGC. Maybe the SGC was converted to a museum that was undergoing renovation. We don't know."

"Well thanks, Carter, for bursting the bubble of invincibility I've been carrying for the last few years." 

"Ha. Ha. Glad I could help, Sir."

"What about the Aschen? Why would we send back a note in time to prevent us from meeting the Aschen when we obviously had to meet them to know to send the note?"

"We still could send that note back in time in a few years. I was hoping we could use sensors on one of the X-304s and a subspace transmitter to let us use a solar flare to send back the note."

"You were planning, huh?"

"I wrote up a plan for General Hammond after we really met the Aschen."

"I need to get Walter to tell me about these things. That's not my big concern, though."

"What are you worried about, Sir?"

"That team on the tape."

"What about them?"

"Every time we actually travelled in time, we were protected by self-fulfilling thingies."

"Self-fulfilling prophecies."

"Right. However, does that mean we have to self-fulfill ourselves and go back into the past to create the tape?"

"Ummm…"

"Carter?"

"Oops."

"Oops?"

"I was hoping nobody would notice that, Sir."

"You were hoping…"

"Yes. I do that sometimes."

"I see…no I don't see."

"Let's say the timeline changed. Then suppose we went back in time to try to fix it. If we did fix it, then we would never exist to know the timeline had changed, which means we would never go back in time to fix it."

"Huh?"

"See if the timeline changed, we already created a paradox. If we tried to fix it, we would only be creating a different paradox. So why take the risk?"

"But doesn't universe implode if there is a paradox?"

"It hasn't happened yet, so I think we are in the clear."

"Are you suggesting we count our blessings, take our ZPM, and run?

"I suppose I am, Sir."

"I can get on board with that plan. One more thing, Carter."

"Sir?"

"How often do you do this thing where you hope nobody notices?"

"Do you really want me to answer that, Sir?"

"No. You're the genius. I trust you."


	19. Where did they come from?

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**Take 19: Where did they come from?**

Category for this take: Sci-Fi / Angst (minor)

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, I've been wondering about the team on the tape."

"What about them, Sir?"

"Where did they come from, before, they went back in time?"

"From the present."

"See that's the thing. They didn't come from our present. I know that because we are still here."

"You caught that?"

"Yes, see, I knew that was important. What does it mean?"

"On the surface, it would seem to be a paradox. But I have a theory."

"Of course you do."

"Every decision we make, we can create an alternate reality."

"Wait a second Carter. I'm having enough trouble with this time travel stuff. Do you have to add in the alternate reality stuff?"

"You asked, Sir."

"Ok, just get it over with. Decisions, reality, go."

"So in the reality of the team on the tape, they decided to go into the past to get a ZPM. In our reality we decided not to."

"But aren't we in the same reality?"

"Now we are. However, my theory is that the Ancient's time machine only allows travel back in time by shifting realities. That avoids the risk of a paradox."

"So this alternate SG-1 is actually from..." 

"Another reality, just like the quantum mirror."

"Ok. That explains the other me thinking there were no fish. What about this reality that they came from? Are they without a Carter?"

"Well, Sir, I suppose so."

"I wouldn't want to live in that reality. Who would save world the next time it needed saving?"

"I'm sure they would manage, Sir."

"I'm not. So this team in the past would have been effectively out of the Air Force."

"Not much flying in ancient Egypt."

"At least they had that going for them. It would almost be worth it."

"Almost?"

"For now, we can't leave this reality without a Carter. Maybe someday we'll get our chance."


	20. Eight bars

A/N: First in the cell phone series (AKA my way of getting other people at the cabin). In typical Stargate fashion, here's a lot of technobabble before the good stuff.

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**Take 20: Eight bars**

Category for this take: Sci-Fi

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, what are you doing with that cell phone?"

"I'm checking to see if Cassie called."

"Oh. That's ok. I thought maybe you were checking to see if the SGC called."

"Well, they might call too."

"They better not. You are on downtime."

"Like that excuse ever works, Sir."

"Wait a second. Do you actually get a signal here?"

"Yes. I must have a better service provider than you do, Sir."

"No. That's not it. Hand over your phone."

"Why?"

"Colonel."

"Sorry, here it is, Sir."

"See I know the local cell tower was knocked out a couple of weeks ago. Nobody should have a... signal... Carter, how do you have eight bars?"

"The Prometheus must be back in orbit."

"What?"

"You realize that despite what the ads say, the number of bars normally doesn't mean much. No bars means no signal, but after that the number of bars can be completely faked by software. More bars means a stronger signal, but there is no standard for what 1 bar, 2 bars, and 5 bars mean."

"Ok, but you have eight bars."

"Right. I tweaked the bar display when I upgraded my phone. Zero through five bars are 'normal'. Six bars is for the civilian sat phone network, so I have to enable encryption for secure calls. Seven bars is for the military sat phone network. Eight bars is for communication piggy-backed through the Prometheus' network or any future X-303 or 304. I'm working on a ninth-bar update that will link in to the Tok'ra subspace network. If you want I could upgrade your phone, Sir."

"Hell no. Personally, I like the idea of having no service when I am on vacation in Minnesota. That way no one can find me."

"Oh."

"Those few I don't mind seeing have an open invitation to join me. Like you, Sam."


	21. I need a ride

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**Take 21: I need a ride**

Category for this take: Family / Humor / Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter... Sam... There's been something I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I kind of told you a few years ago. Well, not you directly, and I didn't really say it. I think you remember. But I want to say it now. Again. You know I'm not very good with this stuff, but you deserve to know. Samantha, I lo-"

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"AAAAHHH!"

"Sorry, Sir. It's Cassie. I need to get this."

_"Hi, Cassie! ... Yes, I'll head out right away. ... Remember it takes a while to get there from the cabin. ... See you soon. ... Bye."  
_

"Cassie caught an earlier flight, so I need your truck, Sir. Are the keys in the visor?"

"What? Oh, yeah."

"I'll be back in about an hour and a half. Then you can finish what you were saying. I'm sorry. However just to put your mind at rest until I get back... I love you too, Jack."


	22. Cassie the Yenta

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**Take 22: Cassie the Yenta**

Category for this take: Family / Humor / Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"Carter, you'll scare away the fish."

"Sorry, Sir. It's Cassie."

_"Hi, Cassie! ... No not yet. ... Cass ... Cassie ... Cassandra! ... Slow down. ... I'm not sure anything is going to happen. ... I don't think that is a good idea. ... I know that is not a good idea. ... Daniel and Teal'c are here too. ... They were invited. ... He's busy right now. ... No. ... No. ... Ok, fine, yes he is fishing. ... Let me see."  
_

"Sir, Cassie insists on speaking with you. If you would rather not be distrubed-"

"Nonsense. I always love talking to my girl. Pass me the phone."

"Your funeral."

"Huh?"

_"Hi Cass. How's my- ... What? ... Wait a second. ... Hold on a sec- ... Cassie! ... What makes you think I'm not planning something? ... Trust me. I know what I'm doing. ... Ok, I'll admit my last plan didn't go well, but it still worked out and we are here. So I mean this in the nicest, politest way to the sweetest daughter I always wish I had: please butt out! ... It'll work out. ... I miss you Cassie, and I'm hanging up now. ... What? ... I'll tell her after I hang up. ... Ok fine, I'll tell her now."_

"Carter, I'm supposed to tell you, 'Our daughter wants to be updated when it happens.' "

"When what happens?"

"Just a sec. ... She says it doesn't matter what 'it' is. She wants to be called when whatever 'it' is happens."

_"I've passed along your message. Bye Cassie."_

"Wow."

"Sorry about that, Sir. I tried to warn you."

"Who knew Cassie had become such a pushy Yenta?"

"You should have heard her when I was packing to come up here."

"That bad, huh?"

"Let's just say I'm packed for every possible attire requirement."

"Hmmmmmm. Good to know."

"Maybe we should go ahead and talk about it to get her off our backs."

"Nope. I told Cassie I have a plan. and I refuse to reward her behavior. If she is going to start calling me 'Dad' instead of 'Uncle Jack', I'm going treat her accordingly."

"You have a plan, Sir?"

"Yes I do, Sam. And I think you are going to like it."

"I'm sure I will, Jack."


	23. Teasing

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**Take 23: Teasing**

Category for this take: Family / Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Hi, Cassie! ... No, we are just fishing. ... Daniel and Teal'c are here, too. ... Of course not. ... I'm not telling you that. ... Cassandra! ... Please, stop it! ... You're embarrassing me. ... If you don't stop- ... If you don't stop, I'll tell you exactly on what I'm planning on doing to the General tonight. ... I see that shut you up. ... Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow. ... Right now, I've got to go before my fishing rod gets pulled in while I'm not paying attention. ... Apparently there is at least one fish in this pond. ... Bye Cass, take care."  
_

"Sorry, Sir. I think I convinced her not to call back tonight."

"That's ok if the fish was scared away by the phone. The fishing is more important than the catching of fish anyway."

"As long as we have something to eat tonight."

"That's why I sent Danny and T to the store."

"Like you taught me, always have a plan B, Sir."

"So Carter, what exactly were you planning on doing to me tonight? Or is there another General joining us that I should know about?"


	24. In the middle of my

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**Take 24: In the middle of my...**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So, Carter... Sam... Things are changing..."

"Yes, Jack, they are."

"And these changes present a specific opportunity."

"Opportunity?"

"And I think we both know how we feel about each other."

"Finally."

"Always. So, Sam, do you want to get mar-"

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"AAAHHH! Carter! Hand me that phone."

"_Hello, George. ... Yes, I know this is Carter's phone, but you are going to have to get through me first. You know I can forgive you a lot of things. You've earned it. Interupting the middle of my backswing-fine. Interupting my marriage proposal. That is not cool!"_

"Yes."

"What, Carter?"

"I said, yes, Jack. Hand me the phone."

"_Sir, unless the world needs saving, I am going to have to call you back. I have a fiancé to kiss. ... Thank you, sir. ... I'll pass on your congratulations. ... Bye."_


	25. Inside information

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**Take 25: Inside information**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"Sorry, it's General Hammond."

_"Hello, sir. ... Yes, we are enjoying our downtime. ... We're fishing. ... Daniel and Teal'c just got here. ... Ok, I'll say hello. ... Pardon me for asking, sir, but why did you call? ... Excuse me? ... Umm, no, I'm sorry I cannot answer that, sir. ... Sorry, sir. I might always call you sir, but you're not my CO anymore. You can't order me to answer that. ... Well if the President wants to know, he could ask me himself. However, it's not really appropriate in the 'don't ask, don't tell' military. ... Sorry, sir. ... Ok, bye."_

"That was Hammond?"

"Yes."

"He and the President want inside information so they can adjust their bets in the pool, don't they?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"Little do they know, Teal'c already won the big pot with our side trip to Vegas yesterday, and Daniel and Teal'c already won most of the smaller pots between them."

"They are certainly are good friends, respecting our privacy and waiting to collect their winnings."

"I think they're just scared of you, Sam. I was thinking, maybe the two of us should have a side bet to see how long we can keep the secret from everyone."

"Hmmm...What are the stakes, Jack?"

"I'm sure the winner can think of something when he wins."

"You mean when she wins. I like this idea. This sounds like the type of bet we both win."

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A/N: More cell phones calls can be expected down the road, after a few other chapters that refuse to wait. Possible guest stars include Cassie (again), Walter, Siler, Landry, and Pete (gasp).


	26. Urgo

A/N: That was an interesting experiment. By posting two one-shot chapters at the same time, almost one-third of the reading audience skipped a chapter. If you are in that one third, stop reading and go back to chapter 24. We'll wait... Or you can read it after this one... Welcome back. For now, I'm going back to one chapter per day to avoid the confusion. That means I still have a ten day buffer.

Also, I'm taking a break from the cell phones for a while. More of that down the road, but I had some other great ideas that couldn't wait.

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**Take 26: Urgo**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So explain please something to me, Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Why did you never tell us you had a thing for Urgo?"

"Ex-cuse me!"

"Urgo. You know. Big guy. Very annoying."

"Where is this coming from?"

"You don't know? I thought it was obvious."

"I promise you, Sir. I do not have a thing for Urgo."

"Daniel, Teal'c, help me out here."

"What is it, Jack?"

"Carter is denying the thing she had for Urgo."

"Sir, Urgo was an implant in our brains. He wasn't real."

"Jack's right, Sam. Wait-you didn't know Pete looked like Urgo?"

"He was also annoying like Urgo, Carter."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Now that your upcoming nuptials with PeteShanahan have been cancelled, maybe you should get MartinLloyd to introduce you to NickMarlowe from _Wormhole X-Treme_."

"Good idea, Teal'c."

"No, not good idea, Danny!"

"Jack, he does look like Urgo."

"That means it is a bad idea."

"Guys! Are you saying that Pete and this Wormhole X-Treme guy look like Urgo?"

"Not exactly, but they could be related." "Yeah." "Indeed."

"And you think I'm into that?"

"I just thought..." "I hope not." "It did appear that way."

"Oh my... That's...weird. You guys should have said something to me a year ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of pain. Ok, let me set the record straight. First, I am not into that. Second, I do not want any more fix-ups seeing how spectacularly bad the last one ended up. And third, I do not need a fix-up because I already have my next and hopefully final boyfriend picked out."

"You do? Who is the shrub?"

"Of course I do, _Jack_. I thought it was obvious."

"Oh... OH!"


	27. Like we're already married

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**Take 27: Like we are already married**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir?"

"Yes, Carter?"

"Jack..."

"Uh, Sam, what it is?"

"Jack, does it sometime feel like we are already married?"

"What!?"

"Never mind."

"No, Sam. You cannot leave me hanging."

"Right. Well, we have spent most of our time together over the last eight years. I've named you as executor in my will. You have my POA and medical POA for emergencies. Not that it matters with Cassie an adult, now, but Janet named us as guardians in her will, so we already have a kid. Then there is the fact that I trust you more than anyone else. Nothing is real until I tell you. You are the most important person in my life. Even Dad thought of you as family."

"I think I understand what you mean. Although most married couples... Actually most long married couples don't have much, if any, sex. You're right! It's like we are already married."

"We just skipped a few steps."

"Such as?"

"The ceremony... the marriage certificate... the honeymoon."

"And you think we should fix this?"

"Do you?"

"I think we should."

"Good. So do I."


	28. Paperwork

A/N: This one is if the season was a few _minutes _longer.

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**Take 28: Paperwork**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Daniel! Come over here!"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Carter and I were talking about something with which we need your experience and expertise."

"I haven't fished before. I thought you're the expert."

"No this is about marriage."

"Marriage? You've been married, Jack. You were married longer than I was."

"No, this is about off-world marriages."

"Oh?"

"I know you considered Sha're your wife. Did the government?"

"You mean our government?"

"Yes, the State of Colorado and the United States of America—the government. Did they ever recognize your marriage?"

"Officially, no."

"Oh, I guess that doesn't help us, then."

"Help, how?"

"Daniel, the General and I were discussing the legality of off-world marriages. Now I know Sha're is difficult to talk about-"

"It's ok, Sam. That was years ago."

"I assume you had researched a plan for what to do if Sha're was saved."

"Yes. General Hammond approved it. The plan was to grant her refugee status. I had all of the paperwork ready to file. Although she would have the naquada sensing and device controlling skills that you and Cassie both have, she would not have a symbiote. So, she would have been allowed outside the mountain, once she had been acclimated to Earth's culture. I also figured we would be spending part of the year on Abydos."

"What about your marriage?"

"Once she was established as a legal refugee, our marriage could be recognized. We just needed a marriage certificate, which would be a problem. Abydos did not have marriage certificates and is not on the list of countries for which the USA will legally recognize marriages."

"So what was your plan?"

"We would simply apply for a new marriage certificate. Colorado is a no waiting period/no blood test state, so it would not have been much of a problem."

"The certificate would be dated from the original marriage or the 'new' marriage?"

"With an affidavit that we were officially married 'out of the country', we could even get the marriage certificate dated for during the original Abydos mission. It would have been even easier in a common law marriage state."

"An affidavit to pre-date the certificate? That's it?"

"I figured it didn't really matter in our case, but yes, that's it."

"In this case, Daniel, it's important. See, Jack. I told you it would be easy."

"Guys, what is this about? Is someone getting married to someone off-world? Is one of you getting married off-world? Sam, I thought you just broke up with Pete. And you, Jack, haven't been off-world in a while-"

"Daniel, this marriage, or should I say these marriages happened a while ago."

"Who at the SGC got married off-world? Wait a second... You two have been married off world!"

"Yes, Daniel. According to _your _mission reports, Jack and I have been married nine times. Although we can probably only count four. Two of them required consummation that evening, one required an offspring within a year, one required a dowry of something like a goat-"

"Which Jacob never provided."

"-and the one on P5X-987 required us to attend the annual renewal ceremony, which we've missed the last few years."

"Sam and I are working on our commitment issues."

"You guys are serious? You're actually going to try to get one of your off-world marriages recognized?"

"That's the plan."

"What about the Air Force, Jack?"

"The frat regs aren't as strict for couples that are already married, which is why the date is important."

"But you weren't married before. Won't you get in trouble for getting married?"

"Most our marriages were accidents, because we didn't understand the culture at the time, or were for protection in strict patriarchal or matriarchal societies. The Air Force doesn't punish protecting one's teammates in the field. The accidental marriages were not due to our negligence. If anything, they were due yours."

"Mine!"

"Don't worry about it, Danny. The accidents were all nullified or were after the first marriage that counted."

"Which one was the first marriage?"

"Well..."

"According to your reports, P2X-412-one of those matriarchal societies. You and Teal'c were safe because you were already married. At the bonding ceremony, Jack became my bound mating companion, which on P2X-412 is what they call the husband."

"Quit it Sam. We agreed you are not allowed to call me that."

"Yes, Dear."

"So you guys are really doing this?"

"Absolutely, in fact we are going to the El Paso County building tomorrow."

"Jack, that's in Colorado!"

"It turns out Minnesota has a five day waiting period, and we're done waiting. No waiting in Colorado."

"You'll have to leave in a few hours to get there, and we just got here."

"We're not driving. The Prometheus is beaming us there and back."

"You're using the Air Force for transport, just so you can get married?"

"We're already married, Daniel. Try to keep up. We're stopping by the SGC for a few minutes. Walter discovered I forgot to sign some napkin requisition form or something."

"And someone bumped Silar and his ladder into a secure storage door which required my thumb print to open. I told Coones I'd stop by first thing tomorrow. So from the sounds of it, all we need to do is explain we were married out of the country seven years ago, but never filed the domestic paperwork. We need it now for life insurance and military benefits purposes. The lack of foreign paperwork can be explained by the actual fact that the people were so isolated that they did not have a written language. All of which is true. I'll grab that bonding spear from storage as proof of the ceremony. "

"The conversation with the marriage registrar is something I would like to see."

"Of course! We need you and Teal'c to sign as witnesses because you were at the original ceremony. I think Teal'c's tattoo might help sell the story."

"Sounds fun, Jack. How are you justifying Teal'c and me on the transport?"

"Teal'c is sending a quick message to Dakara. I don't know what. He can say 'hi' to Bra'tac for all I care."

"And me?"

"You're a free-loader who doesn't want to stay around the bears by himself."

"Jack!"

"Daniel, no one will care. Most people have learned not to ask because you'd talk their ear off with your answer."

"Oh. Ok. Do you mind me asking, why haven't you two done this before?"

"Ask Sam. It's her plan. I would have done it years ago, but I'm not brainy enough to devise it."

"Sam?"

"Jonas noticed the number of marriages when going through your old SG-1 reports. I didn't know about most of them. I never made the connection to an official Earth marriage, until a couple months ago, when I noticed Sha're picture on your desk. At that time-"

"You were engaged to Pete."

"Right. However now that-"

"Train wreck has been avoided. Oww! Hey! Just because I'm your bound mating companion does not mean you get to poke me in the gut. I've already admitted to you that the almost train wreck was my fault, too."

"Ok, as cute as I find this repartee, I think that is my cue to go. For the record, guys, I think this is great. I'm sure Teal'c will too. He kept asking me why Jack wouldn't call out Pete for a fight to the death. Now I think that is because he already considered you two married. I suppose it's time for the State of Colorado and the Air Force to agree with Teal'c."

"He's very wise. We're going first thing tomorrow, and we'll take ya out for lunch afterwards."

"Thanks, Jack. I think Teal'c and I should just stay in Colorado. Give you a real honeymoon."

"Good idea." "Thanks, Daniel."


	29. Pet names

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**Take 29: Pet names**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So what's wrong with Sammie?"

"Nothing, Jackie."

"Ok, not Sammie. How about Samantha?"

"No problem, Jonathan."

"Understood, Sweetheart?"

"No"

"Sweetie?"

"That's worse."

"Honey?"

"Nope. Not Hon' either."

"Darling?"

"Is this the 1800s, in the South?"

"Dear?"

"As in road kill or 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn?"

"Angel?"

"I haven't ascended."

"I know you wouldn't like Babe or Baby."

"Of course not."

"My other half."

"Sounds flippant. I know, you like flippant. But as a name it's not a way to stay on my good side.

"Then how about Beautiful?"

"I appreciate the compliment, but that's not a name."

"Gorgeous?"

"Same thing. That's why I'm not calling you Handsome, either. It's a compliment, not a name."

"I guess I understand. That's why I'm not calling you My Treasure. It's what you are: a National Treasure."

"Thank you."

"So how about somthing like...Hot mama?"

"Do you want to keep your-"

"Ok, Smoochie?"

"I see you don't want to-"

"Just kidding, I'm not serious about snookums either, Princess."

"No Star Wars names. Why do you think I ruled out Sweetheart?"

"Thera?"

"Part of me really likes Jonah and Thera, but it's a little weird, too. Also, its really close to 'Jonas.' It took me a while to get used to Jonas Quinn without thinking of that other one."

"I understand. And Thera doesn't work, I should say the name Thera doesn't work without Jonah. I know...My Love?"

"I also like that, but that seems like something better for special occasions."

"Even if it is always true?"

"Try something else."

"My World?"

"Sounds like you are calling me as big as the world. Not very complimentary. Plus to someone who goes off-world-"

"My Universe? Nevermind. Sounds pretentious. Pumpkin?

"No, my dad called my mom that."

"Muffin?"

"Sure, Stud Muffin."

"Sugar-"

"Nothing that sounds edible."

"But you are."

"After that comment, I know I couldn't handle a food nickname in mixed company."

"Kitten?"

"So now I'm an animal?"

"Sometimes-"

"No to Kitten."

"Sunshine? With your hair-"

"That's not bad, except I blew up a Sun."

"Right. And you won't call me Stud or Hunk?"

"Not with a straight face. You didn't want My Hero."

"We can't call each other the same thing. So, I'm out of ideas."

"I appreciate you leaving out the scientist, geek, and nerd names."

"I know better."

"Then you should know what I want."

"Sam, if we use those names, I'll never be able to think clearly on base."

"We're going to have different postings anyway."

"When I come for inspections... I don't think I could handle it."

"Please, Jack. We both know is not the actual words. It's always been how we sometimes _say _the words."

"You're right. Ok, you win."

"Like there was any doubt. So at work its General and Colonel or sir and Carter. At home its Jack and Sam or Sir and Carter."

"I still can't believe you want our pet names to be 'Sir' and 'Carter'. It puts a whole new spin on the last eight years."

"Why else would I want to use those names?"

"I'm starting to see that sometimes you're a little evil, _Carter_."

"Yes I am, _Sir_."


	30. Star Wars

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**Take 30: Star Wars**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I love you."

"I know. I love you."

"I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Does anything else matter? With 10 words, Jack/Sam shippers of the world would have rejoiced.


	31. Caveman

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**Take 31: Caveman**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance (as in don't bother with Romance)

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I need to explain something to you, Jack."

"Ok."

"I've done the wedding planning thing. It was a waste of time."

"You would've preferred to elope?"

"With Pete, thank God we didn't. In general, yes. I've also done the engaged thing...twice. It didn't work either time."

"Does that mean your turned off to the idea of marriage?"

"Marriage, no. Engagement, yes. Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

"Einstein, huh?"

"Yes, Einstein was more than just theoretical physics."

"What are you trying to say, Sam?"

"Jack, when you want to get married, I want you to zat me, kidnap me, and take me to Vegas. No engagement. Don't let me know when it is going to happen. Just surprise me with a marriage. Do you think you can handle that?"

"I guess it worked for the cavemen. And we do have some alien virus initiated experience in that area. I'll see what I can do."

"I'm looking forward to being surprised."


	32. Statute of limitations

A/N: First of three chapters inspired by a show which started airing during Stargate SG-1's second season.

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**Take 32: Statute of limitations**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So I was talking to Danny and he said the statue of limitations is ninety days."

"Ninety days, huh? He got it wrong."

"Good, so there is no statue of limitations, then."

"No there is one. It's just sixty days."

"I guess...that's better. What I don't understand is why is the statue of limitations longer than the waiting period to get a handgun."

"You're a General in the Air Force. When have you ever waited for a handgun?"

"Exactly. So why do I have to wait-"

"Sixty days, Sir. Well, fifty-four now."

"Wait, you're counting from the funeral, not from breaking up with Pete?"

"My rules."

"Fine. It's just that in fifty-four days, you'll be at Area 51."

"Yes, and you will be in DC."

"No I won't."

"Sir?"

"In fifty-four days, I'll be at Area 51 too."

"I can live with that."

"Good, because plan B involved kidnapping you and dragging you to DC."

"I can live with that too."


	33. High road

A/N: Two of three in the unrelated reto-TV series sequence

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**Take 33: High road**

Category for this take: Romance / Angst (minor)

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I've been wondering, Sir. Why did we stop having team outings when you took over the SGC? You waited until the team is breaking apart."

"I didn't think it was appropriate."

"Sir, you might have been in charge of the base, but we always thought of you as still part of SG-1."

"That wasn't it."

"So it was Pete."

"I was trying to take the high road."

"That's...surprising."

"I know. It was a new thing for me. How do you think it turned out?"

"I wish the road had been shorter, Sir."

"Yeah, that would have been easier."

"So, Jack, do you pick up hitchhikers on this high road?"

"Hippy buses might only stop for Teal'c. But for you, Sam, I'll stop anywhere. Always."


	34. Napoleon's battle plan

A/N: Three of three in the unrelated reto-TV series sequence.

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**Take 34: Napoleon's battle plan**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So what else do you have planned for this extended weekend, Sir?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it much. That's one of the good things about this cabin. Thinking is banned. Understood?"

"I'll do my best, Sir."

"Carter, you can't fool me. What are you thinking about? I can hear you thinking from here."

"Hmm? Oh, I'm just thinking about my plan for the weekend."

"Your plan?"

"It's a lot like Napoleon's battle plan, and from the sounds of it, yours too."

"I just said I don't have a plan."

"Exactly. Napoleon's plan had two steps. First you show up, then you see what happens."

"Ah. Good plan. Although, come to think of it, it didn't work out too well for Napoleon."

"We could be sure we avoid Russia."

"That's always the best policy. With beaming technology we could get out faster nowadays. However you could still be exiled to some far away, isolated place like Atlantis."

"Napoleon did return from Elba."

"That did not work out too well, either, Carter. One word: Waterloo."

"You're right. Also, the Napoleon and Josephine romance did not turn out so well. I think we need a new plan."

"You always think of something. So in this case, I'm lifting the thinking ban for purposes of devising a better plan."

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A/N: If you do a search for "Napoleon's Battle Plan", you discover the show is "Sports Night". That was the title of episode 1.22 in which Dana (the career-driven lead, like Sam) gets engaged to the guy the audience doesn't like (i.e. the Pete-like character, except worse) and then later breaks up with him when she finds out he was cheating on her. The "High Road" reference from my chapter 33 is also inspired by this episode because Casey (i.e. Jack) takes the high road about the relationship. The "Statue of Limitations" reference from my chapter 32 is from episode 2.1, when Casey is incorrectly told by Danny (i.e. Daniel. Wow, what a stretch) that the statute of limitations for when he can pursue Dana is ninety days, not sixty. Sports Night was a great show that unfortunately lasted only two seasons.


	35. Affinity

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**Take 35: Affinity**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I think I've figured it out, Sir."

"The replicators and Anbuis are gone, Carter. So unless you've figured out where Ba'al is, no more figuring out. This is supposed to be a vacation."

"It isn't about work."

"Really? Ok, I'll bite. What did you figure out?"

"Where you would be."

"Where I would be?"

"If things had been different."

"Oh. That."

"You would be right here, wouldn't you?"

"Yes. Right here. With you."

"I just wish I had figured it out then."

"Well, you know how great I am with the talking thing."

"Jack, I'm happy things are different and I can finally be here with you, too."


	36. Teal'c the Yenta

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**Take 36: Teal'c the Yenta**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor / Friendship

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"ColonelCarter, I require your chair."

"Excuse me?"

"My chair has malfunctioned, and I require another one. I must have yours."

"So you want mine? Hey! I was still sitting in it! I could have fallen in! Teal'c I know you are this important leader with the Free Jaffa now, but I thought you respected me as leader of SG-1 enough to not steal my chair."

"I am certain GeneralO'Neill is more willing to share with you than with me. Please forgive my abrupt behavior as I have always respected you."

"What? Oh! You're right, Teal'c. Sometimes fast action is necessary in the field."

"Thank you for understanding, ColonelCarter."

"Sir?"

"Have a seat on my lap, Carter. I think if you sit just right we can both still cast."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Sam, I saw Teal'c breaking his chair in half. I was wondering what he was up to."

"We should have expected the Jaffa idea of matchmaking to have all the subtlety of a frontal assault."


	37. Black widow

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**Take 37: Black widow**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, I'm worried about something. We have to figure it out before this goes any further."

"What is it, Carter?"

"My curse."

"Your curse?"

"You know, my black widow curse."

"Like usual, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You never heard about the curse? I thought everyone at the SGC did. It must be because you were suspect for a while."

"I still don't know what you are talking about. Of what is everyone accusing me?"

"It's not you. It's my curse."

"What exactly is this curse?"

"It's a black widow curse. Everyone who is interested in me...romantically...dies."

"That's not really the case."

"Jonas Hanson: gate iris. Martouf: double zatted by me. Lantash: dead. Fifth: killed by my replicator duplicate. Orlin: ascended. Narim: planet destroyed. Joe Faxon asked me on a date before he died."

"Orlin could descend if he wanted."

"If that happens, I'm sure he would end up really dead this time."

"Reynard is alive."

"You knew about that? You know it was not reciprocated. And he's in prison."

"Folgers and McKay-tee are still alive. Although I guess they are likely to kill themselves without assistance from this so-called curse."

"Thanks for that. I knew you'd believe it."

"Barrett is still alive."

"Barrett doesn't-"

"Sam, you know he does. Nothing's happened to your ex, either, right?"

"Not that I know of. I've been reading the CS Gazette and watching the local news because I'm worried he's going to be reported dead. I couldn't marry him, but that doesn't mean he deserves to die because of me."

"After what he did at the stake-out, maybe he does have a death wish."

"Sir!"

"Sorry. You know maybe the problem is those guys weren't the right guy."

"Two alternate reality versions of you are dead."

"That was alternate Teal'c fault. Now that he has hair, I have nothing to worry about. Wait...did you just imply that I'm the right guy?"

"I might have."

"That's...well...I...ok. I just have to say...sweet!"

"But I'm not safe."

"I think we need a plan, Sam."

"A plan?"

"First, we need to keep an eye on Teal'c. As long as he isn't brainwashed, I'm safe. Second, no more aliens for you. That's the surest way to get them killed. Third, no off-world empire for me. Can't have me going crazy. I think Joe was just a coincidence, so we don't need to counter that. You hadn't started anything anyway."

"And when something happens to Pete?"

"We'll adjust the plan."

"You really want to do this, Jack?"

"Of course I do, Sam. You're worth it."


	38. Misunderstanding?

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**Take 38: Misunderstanding?**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, what are you doing?"

"Just looking for something in my tackle box."

"What are you looking for?"

"Aha! Here it is!"

"Holy Hannah! Really? I mean, ok. Yes!"

"Yes what?" 

"What do you mean 'yes what?' You were looking for something important. You turned around from the tackle box on one knee, and..."

"Wait, you thought I was proposing?"

"I...uhhhh...I'm sorry what was I thinking? Of course you're not... I'm getting ahead of this. Of us. We haven't even talked about it."

"Sam, unless you want a lure hanging from your finger, which would be really painful by the way, you need to wait here a second. The engagement ring I got you is inside. I'll be right back. Don't move."

"Oh... Ok... The ring... Wait... A ring! Did you say a RING? Holy Hannah! Jack!"


	39. Christmas charms

A/N: For all of those last minute Christmas shoppers.

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**Take 39: Christmas charms **

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Daniel, Teal'c, come over here a minute."

"What is it, Sam?"

"I need some help with Jack. He won't give me any ideas for Christmas."

"That's because I don't need anything else. I finally got my girl for Christmas. I don't need anything else."

"Part of me feels like I should be offended by that 'my girl' comment, but that doesn't help me with your Christmas present."

"Sam, shouldn't your gift for Jack be a surprise?"

"It's not like I'm getting a surprise."

"You told her, Jack? I thought you of all people would be able to keep a secret."

"I didn't say anything."

"Jack knows what he better get me. That is if he knows what's good for him. Last year he broke the streak, so he better make up for it this year. I'm expecting four this year, Jack."

"Ok. I'm not following. Four what?"

"Four charms for my charm bracelet."

"I've never seen you wear a charm bracelet."

"Of course not. I wouldn't wear it on duty, and off-duty I couldn't get caught wearing a charm bracelet from my CO. Until now, because he's not my CO."

"It was from your Secret Santa, not your CO."

"Right, Jack. Like I didn't know it was you."

"So Sam, Jack has been secretly giving you charms for a charm bracelet?"

"For eight years...except for last year...although I guess that was my fault. Don't think that means I don't expect a make-up gift, Jack."

"Tell me about this bracelet, Sam."

"It's sterling silver. Each of the charms has a special means for us or our missions. The first year, he gave me the bracelet and three charms, not two. There was a pyramid, a flat ring, and a dress, for Abydos, the stargate, and Cassie."

"Santa gave you."

"Whatever, Jack. Stop interrupting."

"I remember the good old days when that would have been 'Stop interrupting, Sir.'"

"That was last week when you were my direct CO. Now, you're not, we're off duty, and oh yeah, we're married. So let me finish the story."

"Shutting up now."

"Jack, you are so whipped."

"Hey!"

"New rule, Daniel: when I shut down my husband, you are not allowed to taunt him."

"Or you'll what? No wait. I know better than to challenge you. What was I thinking? You're right, Sam."

"She always is Danny. Didn't you know that?"

"Jaaa-ck."

"Sorry Sam."

"Thank you. Stop smirking too. Ok. Where was I?"

"Year two."

"Thanks, Teal'c. The second year, he got me an icicle for Antarctica and a Xe'ls raven for my first command. Third year it was a mini timepiece for our trip to 1969 and an oak leaf for my promotion to major. Fourth year it was a heart for the za'tarc confession and disc engraved with 'Thera.' The next year, it was a computer, which I assume was a lame joke about my disembodiment into a computer and a sun, for blowing one up. After that it was an asteroid and a Prometheus. I still don't know how he had that one made. The seventh year was a race car, for the Kon Garat race and a moon, which I assume is for getting him lost on one. Last year, I was hoping for something like a caduceus for Janet and a chair for the one in Antarctica. It's probably best I didn't get them. It was too soon for us. But now I expect make-ups."

"Wow. I'm impressed, Jack."

"I do not know what you are talking about."

"Riiight. Sam, you are sure they are from Jack? I didn't know he was so...thoughtful."

"He was on the short list the first year. You were too because the individual charms weren't overly romantic. With the icicle, I figured it was Jack. With the heart and 'Thera', I _knew _it was Jack. The fact I didn't get charms last year absolutely confirmed it beyond all doubt."

"You're right, of course."

"Obviously I need help countering wonderful, thoughtful gifts like these. Counting this year and the make-up, I have nine years worth to make up for."

"You didn't give a Secret Santa to Jack?"

"No. I followed regulations. It's not like Jack's were really secret."

"We didn't know."

"But I knew. I just figured I would wait and make up for it. Now it is crunch time, and I need help."

"Do I need to be here for this conversation?"

"Just ignore us. Pretend we are talking about the anthropological origin of gift giving on planet P0X-000 and go back to fishing."

"P0..."

"Earth, Jack."

"Oh, ok. I'll just go back to fishing."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: What should Sam get Jack?


	40. All I want for Christmas

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**Take 40: All I want for Christmas**

Category for this take: Friendship / Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I just realized. Everyone got what they wished for most for Christmas this year."

"What do you mean, Jack? I didn't get anything."

"I'm letting you go to Atlantis, Daniel."

"Oh. That's right. Finally. We'll see if it really happens, but thanks. Hopefully Sam can get the Daedalus running soon. What did Teal'c get?"

"DanielJackson, I wished for peace on Earth and good will towards Jaffa."

"See, Teal'c's more altruistic than us selfish humans, Daniel."

"I never doubted it. What about you, Jack?"

"I could say I'm just happy I don't have to speak at another one of your unnecessary memorial services, but that's not it. I got the same thing as Sam. Well, sort of, but opposite."

"What? A transfer? With all the moaning you've been doing about DC and its politicians, I thought you didn't want to go."

"No, not a transfer. Do we really have to spell it out?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Now you know how I feel when you brainiacs drone on about whatever you are always blathering about. Not Sam, though. She always knows what everyone is talking about."

"Thanks for that. I still don't know-"

"Sam, do you want to tell him?"

"No, Jack. If Daniel can't figure out what a guy and a girl who have secretly loved each other for over seven years are doing now that they are no longer in the same chain of command, I'm not going to spell it out for him. Maybe he'll figure it out tonight. For the record, my Christmas wish came true, too. "


	41. Chaperones

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**Take 41: Chaperones**

Category for this take: Angst / Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Looks like our chaperones are here, Sir."

"Why do we need chaperones, Carter?"

"The transfers are not official for another week."

"So you think that after eight years of incredible restraint, the kind of restraint deserving of medals for both of us, that we won't be able to hold back for a few weeks without ripping each other's clothes off and going at it right here on this tiny dock?"

"It is tempting, Sir."

"I know. So do you want to ditch the chaperones and go for a hike?"

"We better not."

"Sometimes you're no fun."

"No fun _yet, _Sir. In another week, we ditch the chaperones, and I'll show you exactly how much fun I am."

"First the chaperones ruin my afternoon, and now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight with you in the next room. Thanks for that mental image, _Carter_."

"I do what I can, _Sir_."


	42. Life, the universe, and everything

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**Take 42: Life, the universe, and everything**  
(what else would 42 be?)

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So Carter, I hear you finished another book."

"Yes."

"Another book that we have to tell your throngs of scientific admirers is classified so they can't read it."

"Throngs?"

"Yes, maybe it wasn't a good idea to put you on _Inside Access_. We've had to turn down many requests for your published works on grounds of national security, which of course only increased the interest. On the upside, the number of enlistments, ROTC enrollment, and Academy applications spiked."

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Aren't I always?"

"No."

"Ok. But this time I am."

"Then you better take me off the market soon so the staff can keep up with the applications."

"I'm working on it. Your transfer should be finalized by tomorrow. I'm calling first thing in the morning to confirm. Although Maynard insisted that I not publicize our plans because they like the higher quality of applications at the Academy."

"Now I know you are not serious."

"Actually I am."

"He didn't say that."

"Yes, he did."

"Oh no. This is so embarrassing."

"I hope you realize we have to let everyone at the SGC know. There are a lot of bets to settle."

"So my new book is about integrating Asgard tech with Earth tech."

"Nice topic change."

"You brought it up...originally."

"Fine. Well this book sounds even more classified than your first book on Wormhole theory."

"It is, although it should be very useful at Area 51. I have 42 pre-orders already. The last book only had 40 copies printed."

"I'm surprised 40 people understood the first one.

"More people would understand it. The problem is the book is not completely theoretical. I would have had to redact the references to the stargate. Since the book debunks many of the prevailing, invalid theories in the rest of the theoretical astrophysics world, there would have been a lot of controversy."

"Ooo, physicists getting nasty."

"I would have had to go on a speech tour. I would have been sucked into defending the book without being able to provide proof. Many theoretical physicists have huge egos and would have tried to destroy my credibility. It would have all been an annoying waste of time. The new book is more practical-at least for the SGC."

"I'm sure everyone at Area 51 will be expected to read the new boss's new book."

"Early drafts of the new book were used in the Daedelus's design. The books will help with the production."

"Well congratulations on breaking your publishing record, Sam."

"Thanks, Jack."

"Who publishes classified books anyway? It can't be Random House. Wait. Never mind. I don't care. So I have an idea for your next book."

"I am not writing a _Wormholes for Dummies_ book. Someone sent me drafts for _Quantum Theory for Dummies_ and _String Theory for Dummies_ for peer review. They were riddled with inaccuracies, which I could only refute with classified information. I'd have the same problem writing a _Wormholes for Dummies_ book. No to a _Time Travel for Dummies _book, too."

"Hmmm. Maybe you could give me marked up copies of the books you reviewed. They might help me. Anyway, my idea is a _Stargate Traveler's Guide to the Galaxy_."

"Really? I thought you hate sci-fi."

"There's an exception to every rule. I thought it was more comedy than sci-fi."

"Ah."

"So what do you think?"

"With the multiple times you've been stranded off-world, you've spent more time off world than I have. Daniel too."

"I've been flying a desk for most of the last year. You've gone on more missions than anyone else. I thought I could write the forward. I'd tell everyone how wonderful you are."

"I guess that's one way to let everyone at the SGC know about us. So what's supposed to be in this new book? The multiple uses of a towel?"

"Sure. If you think it would help. I'll leave most of the bright ideas up to you. That's always worked before. Although if you can work in the meaning of life, the universe, and everything..."

"That sounds like a chapter for Daniel."

"An SG-1 team book. That could work. Maybe we could get Teal'c to explain in the _Interplanetary Edition_ how Earth is full of Goa'uld and Replicator killers and is not 'Mostly Harmless'."

"Who's going to write the chapter about not falling in love with your CO or 2IC?"

"I think we could handle it. One of those, 'Do as we say, not as we do things.' We could write about not getting stranded together or stranded apart, avoiding Zarax detectors, and stuff like that."

"And when they inevitably fall in love anyway?"

"Use the sexual tension to save the galaxy. Do it enough times, and you can get what you want."

"How about we revisit this after the honeymoon? For now, I'm going to try to catch that fish."


	43. Thor the Yenta

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**Take 43: Thor the Yenta**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"What was that?"

"I think that was an Asgard beam, Sir."

"Really? Good! Thor finally came through for me."

"Sir? How do you know it was Thor?"

"The Prometheus is on assignment retrieving SG-9, who is trapped with a broken DHD."

"What! I should have gone to fix it."

"No way. You're on downtime Colonel. It's only a two and a half day round trip for the Prometheus. The tech crew can take care of it."

"Ok, but Ba'al has beaming technology. Maybe he came with a cloaked cargo ship."

"And not take you? I don't think so. Besides, I know it was Thor."

"How do you know?"

"I called in a favor."

"I don't understand."

"Normally, he kidnaps me because of my genetics or you because of your brain. He never picks up Daniel because the Asgard don't need help with Ancient translations. They knew the Ancients after all. And Teal'c only gets called up as support muscle for the rest of us."

"So, you called in favor. You really shouldn't waste favors with the Asgard, Sir."

"I didn't. Thor thought my idea was a good one, so the favor didn't count. I don't think he's keeping score anyway."

"Your idea? So why did Thor pick them up?"

"With the System Lords gone, I told Thor that the Asgard needed a new protected planets treaty with the Free Jaffa Nation. Teal'c and Daniel can help."

"That is a good idea, Sir. However, it sounds like something that could take a while.

"Teal'c and Daniel are just providing introductions to some of the key players in the Jaffa council and some of the protected planets. Then they will be brought back."

"So let me get this straight. I'm not going to help SG-9 because I'm on downtime, but Teal'c and Daniel are beamed away on their downtime."

"The Prometheus is almost there, so it's too late to correct my 'impulsive' decision now. Also Teal'c and Daniel's mission is very important. They'll get an extension when they get back in a few days. Teal'c doesn't like the mosquitoes, and Daniel doesn't like the hay fever, so neither of them really wanted to come. I gave them a reprieve."

"In other words, I shouldn't have invited them."

"Don't you prefer the privacy, Sam?"

"Maybe. It does provide some possibilities, Jack. Like maybe instead of four beds tonight, we try just one."

"Isn't it great when Thor comes through for us?"

"Yes it is. Do you think Thor figured out what he was doing for us?"

"No. I hope not. He might think it's more efficient to clone us both. While the world might be a better place with another Carter, our way is more fun."


	44. Bed check

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**Take 44: Bed check**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"The guys are here. We have a full house."

"Yeah."

"About that. Sir, where exactly is everyone sleeping tonight?"

"You've got the master room, Teal'c's got the guest room for all of his candles, Danny gets the couch, and I get the roll away in the living room."

"That'll be hard on you. I can take the roll away."

"No way. I thought you'd appreciate the privacy."

"Thank you, but you're not used to sleeping in hard places anymore."

"I'll be fine."

"What about when Cassie comes tomorrow?"

"She's young. She can take a sleeping bag on the floor, or if she wimps out, she could join you. The master bed is big enough."

"Maybe she should take the roll away."

"So a second ago, you wanted me to avoid the pull-out. Now you want me on the floor."

"No. The master bed is big enough. You could join me tonight if you wanted...Jack"

"..."

"Sir?"

"I think I like your sleeping arrangement plan, Sam."

"After tonight, I know you'll love it."

"Are you sure?"

"It's about time."

"You're right. It's time."


	45. What's for dinner?

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**Take 45: What's for dinner?**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Hey guys. How's the fishing going?"

"It's going great, Daniel. It's a lot more fun than I thought it would be."

"Really? So we're having fish for dinner?"

"No Danny. It told you guys to pick up steaks. We're having steaks."

"We did. Wait a second, Jack. Haven't you caught anything yet?"

"No. But it does look like there is at least one fish in the pond."

"You haven't caught anything? You guys left two days before us. Haven't you been fishing for two days?"

"No."

"No? Sam?"

"We just started."

"You just started! What have you to been doing up here for two days?"

"One day, Danny. We got here yesterday. And we'd rather not go into details about yesterday. Trust me. You don't want the details of what we were doing yesterday."

"One day? What's going on? Why did you only get here yesterday?"

"What do you think, Jack? We were going to wait until dinner."

"I know, Sam, but you know how he is going to be for the next few hours."

"Ok. I'll tell him. Daniel, we were in Nevada."

"Nevada? I thought you've been staying in your quarters at Area 51 until we helped you moved next weekend. Did Jack help you move?"

"No. We didn't go to Area 51. We went to Vegas."

"Vegas? So you went gambling. I know you're good at blackjack, Sam. How much did you win?"

"No gambling."

"You actually got Jack to a show? You should have invited us."

"No shows."

"Then why were you in Vegas?"

"Why else do people go to Las Vegas, Danny?"

"Well, they sometime go to get..."

"I think he's got it, honey."

"I told you, Jack, your _wife_ does not want to be called honey."

"Whatever you say, Sam."


	46. New Year's Eve

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**Take 46: New Year's Countdown**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Ten"

"Nine"

"Eight"

"Seven"

"Six"

"Five"

"Four"

"Three"

"Two"

"One"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: We all know what happens after the New Year's countdown.


	47. Chosen one

A/N: Another retro TV reference.

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**Take 47: Chosen one**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance / (a little) Parody

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Greetings General O'Neill, Colonel Carter."

"Thor! Buddy! What are you doing here? Do you want me to get you a fishing rod? I know you like those little colored spongy things, but fish are a good source of Ome... Carter?"

"Omega 3, Sir."

"Right. That. So what do ya say?"

"I am sorry, but I have more important matters to discuss at this time."

"You realize we are on vacation. Can't you wait to take us away to save the Universe next week?"

"The Universe does not need saving. I am here about another matter."

"Don't say clones. You know the new rule. No cloning of us humans."

"It is not about cloning. However, we have just captured another rouge scientist in orbit: Milo"

"Ok. What was he doing?"

"With the strength of your Ancient Gene, the protein marker and naquadah in both you and Colonel Carter's blood stream-"

"It's not very strong in mine."

"-and Colonel Carter's advanced intellect for one of your species-"

"I'd say for any species."

"-Milo believes your offspring would be the Chosen One that was prophesized."

"Our what!?"

"Your offspring, Colonel Carter."

"But the General and I...we're not...I mean we haven't even..."

"Are not you and General O'Neill planning on procreating from your upcoming union?"

"I'll repeat what Carter said, 'Our what!?'"

"General O'Neill, many have assumed that when both you and Colonel Carter applied for transfers, you did it so you could be legally joined within the rules of your military."

"How do you even know these things, Thor?"

"In a meeting with your President and General Hammond, they were very excited and I believe it is called 'placed a wager' about how soon you and Colonel Carter would marry."

"I hope planetary and galactic security was discussed sometime between our sex life and our mating behavior."

"Sir!"

"It was, General O'Neill. It was an intriguing conversation. Most of the Asgard High Council agreed."

"Permission to die of embarrassment and fall into the lake, Sir?"

"So let me get this straight. You passed on an inappropriate conversation between the Prez and George to the Asgard High Council, this Milo guy found out about it, and now he is after our future kid. Doesn't he realize that he would have to wait a while? Carter and I haven't even had a chance to discuss...this...well...discuss."

"That is why Milo was here. He is impatient and thought it best to acquire samples which he could then grow into the Chosen One."

"Thanks for stopping him. So what is this prophecy? It's not like some advanced kid is all of a sudden going to develop mutant, Ancient, super powers."

_"This woman here depicted will possess unseen marks, signs that she will be the one to bring forth my works: bind them with fury, a burning anger. Unless prevented, at vulgar cost, this woman will render the greatest power unto utter desolation."_

"That doesn't sound good. Thank God you have captured the guy. Thor, could you excuse us for a few minutes. Carter and I have a few things to discuss."

"I must take Milo back to Orilla. I can return to discuss this further in three days. Goodbye General O'Neill, Colonel Carter."

"So...Carter...Sam. I know we haven't had a chance to talk about it yet. However I kinda assumed..."

"I did too."

"However after that..."

"There about fifty more steps until..."

"Right. Do you even want..."

"I don't know. We are both a little..."

"You're not, but I am a little old. I could be a grandfather."

"You know I don't care about that. Nothing affects how I feel about you, Jack."

"Me neither. So about kids?"

"We seen enough time travel to know prophecies are possible. Maybe we should take it seriously."

"Agreed. No demon offspring for us then. Anyway, we still have Cassie with her latent magnetic super powers. And I don't need a baby to prove to the world how I feel about you, Sam"

"Me neither. However, I think we need to get started on all of those other steps. We don't need to skip them."

"How about when Thor gets back, we have him beam us to Vegas?"

"Only if you can come up with a better proposal than that, _Sir._"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: 47 is Milo Rembaldi's magic number in _Alias_. The prophecy was taken directly from Alias (fantastic show, especially the first two seasons). In that show (spoiler alert), the prophecy was misinterpreted to be a bad omen. In truth, Milo Rembaldi was a crazy/evil genius who discovered both the key to immortality and a plague to kill everyone else off. Rendering his greatest power unto utter desolation was actually a good thing.


	48. Resolutions

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**Take 48: New Year's Resolutions**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, have you made any resolutions for this new year?"

"Isn't that kinda personal?"

"We're friends, aren't we?"

"I'm just kidding. Are you asking Danny and Teal'c, too?"

"What's the point? Their resolutions are obvious. Daniel's is to not die again. Teal'c's are to help found a new nation and to spend more time with Ishta. So what are yours?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I still haven't picked out mine. Maybe yours could give me an idea."

"What was yours last year?"

"To adequately succeed you as commander of SG-1."

"Well, I can say you far exceeded that goal."

"Thank you, Sir. Meanwhile, you're avoiding my question."

"Fine. Mine are to get some regular exercise, maintain my F302 flight status, and rack up some frequent flyer miles."

"Concerned about your time behind a desk?"

"Partially, but that's not the real reason. You know, Carter, I think you could use the same resolutions."

"Excuse me, Sir. I still hit the gym at least five times a week when not on mission. This morning, I ran about ten miles through the woods. Also, I just renewed by F302 qual's last month, which you should know."

"I'm not talking about weight machines or jogging."

"Ten miles in one hour over rough terrain is not jogging."

"Fine, running."

"What kind of exercise are you talking about?"

"The kind of exercise that requires two people."

"Free weights?"

"No, I have in mind two specific people. Hence the frequent flyer miles, whenever F302s, or even orbital beams are not available."

"Two specific people?"

"Well, you and me, Sam."

"I'm not following. What kind of exercise program are you talking about?"

"Something we can do...together."

"Like what? Do you want to take a dance class with me or something?"

"Good Heavens, no."

"Then what?"

"I'm talking about sex! Lots and lots of regular, weekend sex with my new girlfriend, if she'll have me!"

"Oh! I think your resolutions are a great idea! Thanks for suggesting them. In fact, we can't start on the frequent flyer miles yet, but maybe we should start the exercise regiment tonight."


	49. In the jungle, the mighty jungle

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**Take 49: In the jungle, the mighty jungle**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So, Sir. Now that we are both not seeing anyone else, and especially now that we a not in the same chain of command, I was as wondering... I mean... Jack... Do you still care about me more than you're suppose to? ... I know you don't like talking about this stuff...unless we are being threatened with a za'tarc lobotomy. ... But I was...hoping...that it might finally be time for us to take that chance. ... You told me 'Always'. ... Does 'Always' mean now? ... Jack? ... Jack?"

_Zzzzzzzzzzz_

"You have got to be kidding me! Fine. This better mean you plan on staying up all night with me."


	50. Dreams

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**Take 50: Dreams**

Category for this take: Humor / Horror

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_"Hey Daniel, honey, could you bring me a Diet Coke?"_

_"Sure thing, sweetheart."_

_"Sir, I'm not sure I have ever been so content. The System Lords are virtually gone. Anubis is gone. The replicators and my double are gone. I wised-up and dumped Pete. So now Daniel and I can finally start a life together. Sure, he's not Teal'c. But Teal'c is happy with Ishta and my research has shown that Jaffa are really not into polygamy. Daniel has been quite fantastic in bed. Jack, are you listening? Jack!"_

"Sir!"

"Huh? What?"

"You were talking in your sleep, Sir. You kept repeating 'no'. Were you having a nightmare?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not a chance."


	51. Don't mess with Cassie

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**Take 51: Don't mess with Cassie**

Category for this take: Hurt/Comfort

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"This is Carter. ... Hi Cassie! ... What? ... Slow down. ... What happened? ... He did what? ... I'm so sorry. ... We're already at the cabin, but don't worry about that. I'll be there as soon as I can. ... I love you. ... Bye."_

"What's wrong?"

"Cassie walked in on her boyfriend with her roommate. I'm sorry I have to go. She needs me."

"I'm coming with. I have a buddy with the 148th out of Minneapolis who owes me a favor. We could borrow an F15 and be at Peterson three hours from now."

"Sir, I really don't think-"

"Carter, our goddaughter needs us and commercial won't let me take my shotgun. So stop arguing and let's go."

"And here I thought we would have to wait years before you went all protective for our child."

"We got to Cassie too late, after she started dating. _Our _daughter is never dating. I'm just sorry we can't get started on her tonight."

"I'm still on the shot, Jack."

"Doesn't mean we can't practice some more."


	52. For Pete's sake

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**Take 52: For Pete's sake**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter...Sam...After your transfer goes through...I was wondering...if you would..."

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"For Pete's Sake! Who is it Carter?"

"It's Pete."

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"Who?"

"My ex."

"Oh."

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"I'm sorry, Sir. He's been calling for the last few days. I think he wants to try again, but he can't seem to catch a hint."

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

"I'll let it go to voice mail."

"No, give it to me."

_BRRRRRRI!_

_"O'Neill. ...Yes, this is Colonel Carter's phone. ... No, she is not available at this time. ... Normally she would be saving the world, but currently she is on leave with her family. ... No, she is not in San Diego. ... No, she's with her other family. ... You know, the brother who breaks people in half for fun, the other brother that comes back from the dead to protect those he cares about, and me, her black-ops, ex-CO, soon-to-be boyfriend. So I think maybe you should-"_

"He hung up."

"Soon-to-be boyfriend?"

"Well before the interruption, I was trying to ask you on a date. I was hoping-"

"Jack, you aren't really boyfriend material."

"Oh."

"You're husband material. Maybe a little over-protective, but we'll work on that after we get married."

"Oh!"


	53. Monosyllabic

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**Take 53: Monosyllabic**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So."

"So."

"What now, Sir?"

"More."

"More?"

"More than we've had, up to now." 

"Just more?"

"A lot more."

"How much more?"

"All of it. You?"

"The same."

"We should get hitched"

"Yes, we should."

"How soon, Sam?"

"Soon, Jack."

"As in?"

"Right now."

"The fish?"

"Can wait."

"The guys."

"Can come and stand by us."

"Cass?"

"Will be here soon."

"Good. A dress?"

"I don't care."

"Cake?"

"We'll stop some place."

"After that?"

"Cass will go home with the guys."

"And after that?"

"A lot more sex."

"Great! I like this plan!"

"Of course you do. One hitch, though."

"Yes, Sam?"

"I think sex last night broke us."

"How so?"

"Small words."

"I did think that was strange...for you. Not so for me. More sex could help fix us."

"You think?"

"Why not?"

"It's a plan. First we get hitched. Then a lot more sex."

"I like this plan."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Yes, I know the first part of the conversation has a few of two syllable words. Two bad. I really like the idea of Sam and Jack being reduced to babbling idiots after their first night.


	54. End of the World

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**Take 54: The end of the world**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I was a little worried after last night."

"After last night? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

"Of course I did! I think your neighbors two miles down the road know I did. I'm just worried about everything else."

"Sam, your transfer has gone through. Hammond and the President understood that I would only take my new position if we were allowed to pursue a relationship. So what's to worry about?"

"No, I didn't mean that."

"Then what is it?"

"In the alternate universes, when we...got together, Earth was defeated by the Goa'uld."

"That's what has been holding you back? You thought if we got our acts together the world would end?"

"It was a consideration."

"So what changed?"

"We've gotten pretty good at saving the world from our own messes. Better than those alternate versions of us. Also, we can always call the Asgard for help like the second Dr. Carter did. Based on the other universes, we should have a few months to a year before the other shoe drops and some evil race from another galaxy comes trying to force us to worship them."

"Are you saying I have Thor to thank for our new sex life?"

"Maybe just a little. But the quality of that sex life is all you."


	55. As only Teal'c would say

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**Take 55: As only Teal'c would say**

Category for this take: Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"GeneralO'Neill, ColonelCarter. When you are going to stop being as obstinate as a cross between Equus asinus and Equus caballus?"

"What?"

"You and ColonelCarter should remove your craniums from your respective posteriors and become mates."

"Daniel, please translate."

"Stop being stubborn as mules, get your heads out of your asses, and get together already!"


	56. Bad timing

A/N: No words are mine this time. I just _really_ like the retro-tv series cross-over quote. I'll post two today to make up for the lack of originality.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Take 56: Bad timing**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"You know what scares the hell out of me? From the first moment I laid eyes on you, I could never see the end."

"What scares me is I always could."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: See. Mitchell and Vala, I mean Crichton and Aeryn, know what they are talking about. If the title doesn't make sense, it's the title of the series finale of _Farscape_, where the quote is from.


	57. Lunatic fringe

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**Take 57: Lunatic fringe**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, I've heard you have a soft spot for the lunatic fringe."

"I can't believe you remembered I said that."

"I was building a file of your likes and dislikes. So am I lunatic fringy enough for you?"

"Oh yeah. You are so far past the fringe, I have a huge soft spot for you."

"Good, that makes two of us."

"Are you calling me a lunatic, Sir?"

"For having a huge soft spot for me, yes."

"Ha ha. Maybe so. I guess it's a good thing us two lunatics have each other."


	58. Plan of attack

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**Take 58: Plan of attack**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Look at them, Teal'c. They are just sitting there...fishing."

"Is that not why they came to this cabin?"

"No. Yes. But no. Sam isn't getting married to Pete. Kerry and Jack are not together. Their respective relationships broke up because how the two of them feel about each other. It's time that they figure out a way around the Air Force regulations and finally get together."

"Indeed."

"Yet they are just sitting there, avoiding the issue. Do you have any ideas? What would a Jaffa tribe do when confronted with a couple they did not do what they clearly both want."

"Wait here."

"Teal'c, what are you doing?"

"Whaaa!?" "Ahhh!"

"Teal'c, you just pushed them in the lake!"

"Indeed."

"Why? That water is freezing!"

"Then they both will be compelled to return indoors and warm up in the shower."

"Jack said the hot water supply is limited."

"They will be compelled to share. Then they can warm up by the fire."

"That might work. However, Teal'c, if I ever have a similar problem with some alien woman I encounter through the stargate, please stay out of it."


	59. Get a room

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**Take 59: Get a room**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"That is just so...so...sickening. I hope they aren't like that all weekend."

"I do not understand, DanielJackson."

"They are just, sitting there, all sweet and innocent, with waves of sexual energy oozing all across the lake. You two need to just GET A ROOM!"

"Shut it Daniel. We were in a room all last night and this morning before you got here. It needs to air out now. We'll go back later."

"Aahhh! Don't tell me that kind of stuff!"


	60. Wedding planning

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**Take 60: Wedding planning**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So what were we talking about, Jack? Oh yeah, the wedding planning."

"Do we have to? I thought you weren't into this wedding planning stuff."

"When it's not the right guy, I'm not."

"Sam, can't we wait until after fishing?"

"Jack, we only have a one week window during which I'm stationed at Area 51, reporting through the base commander to General Hammond before you take over as Head of Homeworld and I'm back under your chain of command. That window is less than two weeks away."

"You don't have to remind me. My days of BDUs are coming to a close. I just don't see how we are supposed to plan a wedding in two weeks. I suggest Vegas. You're going to be stationed nearby anyway."

"We'll call that plan B."

"Ok. As long as it is one of the plans. Plan B always works better anyway."

"Could we talk about plan A first?"

"Fine. What's your plan?"

"I just so happens that my cancelled wedding date falls within the window."

"You're kidding, right? I don't want our plans to be something the cop picked out."

"It'll be ok. We'll have to skip the invitations. The invite list is small. Everyone we'd want to invite is at the SGC, except for my brother's family, who has already booked flights and a hotel, and General Hammond."

"Maybe we should get a message to Langara and invite Jonas, too."

"I knew you liked him."

"I admit nothing."

"Let's see…Pete didn't know anything about flowers. His choices were tacky, so we went with mine. I also picked out the cake as something I thought you might like. I figured it might be the only way to get you there. Cassie's maid of honor dress is ready. Sorry it's azure, not peridot."

"I love blue. Like your eyes."

"I'm wearing my mom's wedding dress. It has already been altered. The wedding spot at the park is booked and it is non-refundable. The VFW hall for the reception is not refundable, either. However I hated that choice. The place leaks. I paid for the park, and Pete paid for the reception hall. That works out if we can find another place on short notice. Catering and the band might also be a problem. The caterer was the wife of one of his coworkers, and the DJ was a buddy of his from Denver. I think they met when he arrested him for possession a few years back."

"So you are saying we keep your choices and drop Pete's dumb ideas."

"Exactly."

"I can live with that. That leaves..."

"Reception hall, food and music. I would have preferred a band, but we'll be lucky if we can get even a DJ at this short notice."

"No problem. We can use the SGC for the reception and food, if you don't mind buffet. The space might be tight so we won't be able to have formal table assignments."

"I thought we should keep this low key. I was only going to invite a few people-"

"Hogwash. Everyone at the SGC is invited. Except maybe Felger."

"I'm sure Chloe can keep him in line."

"Felger and Chloe, huh? Good. Maybe he'll stop drooling when you're around. He should know to keep his mouth shut like the rest of us do when you make us drool."

"So you really want to invite everyone?"

"Want, no. But, Hayes already invited himself. I'd hate for secret service to outnumber guests. Also, if we have it at the SGC, some of our more outlandish off-world friends can come."

"Great! Our wedding is going to become an interglobal political affair."

"Don't worry about it. If it looks like that is going to happen, we fall back on plan B. I told the Prez that no politicking would be allowed. He told me he never gets to stay long at weddings anyway because he is always too busy, what with running the country and stuff. And I'm not inviting the off-world snooty types. Just our friends, like Thor. If he comes, we'll get him to beam in after the president makes his early exit."

"I really don't want to get married at the gate."

"Of course. I know you well enough to know you don't want to get married 29 stories underground. We'll have the ceremony at the park and go back to the SGC for cake and dancing. Walter has a knack for decorating."

"I like that idea. I'm sure we can get off-base passes for a few of our more trustworthy off-world friends, like Jonas, Rya'c, Ishta, Kar'yn and Bra'tac. What about music?"

"Siler knows a guy."

"_Siler_ knows a guy?"

"Actually, it's Siler's old band. He plays keyboard."

"Siler was in a band?"

"After one of my knee surgeries he was stuck in the infirmary, at the same time. That guy can talk your ear off when he gets going. He told me once that before he worked at the SGC, his job was pretty boring. So he and a few guys from Peterson started a garage band that eventually branched out to weddings and Bar Mitzvahs."

"They won't be booked?"

"They're semi-retired, although they get together a few times a year for old times' sake."

"Ok. I don't care if they are good. I got to see them. Sounds like we're set."

"So we can go back to fishing?"

"Sure. I'll work on the off-world invite list and a gate dialing schedule to contact them tonight. Have you picked out a best man?"

"I settled on Daniel, if he can stay alive long enough. Teal'c said he would love the honor of giving you away."

"I would like that, too. It somehow feels more appropriate than Mark. Wait, what about Mark's family? How can they go to the reception?"

"I've been thinking they need to be read in."

"Really? Thank you, Jack."

"With what happened to your dad, Mark has a right to know a little more about how he saved all life in the galaxy. Also, the Trust has gone after families, so they need to know. We can explain the aliens to the kids by telling them it's a costume reception."

"A costume reception? That might work for the Jaffa, but not Thor. The kids are sixteen and eighteen, now. I think they can handle the truth."

"I'll trust your judgment. So now were done?"

"Yes."

"Good. Wow. Wedding planning is a lot more complicated than planning an assault on a Gho'uld base."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Sorry. This is the first one I _really _wanted to add some sarcasm, eye rolling, and teasing clues.


	61. Always

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**Take 61: Always**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir?"

"Yes, Carter?"

"I wanted to clarify something you told me the other day."

"Yes?"

"'Always.' What did you mean by that?"

"I meant always."

"And by that you mean..."

"Whatever you want it to mean."

"Whatever _I _want it to mean?"

"Yes."

"Such as..."

"Sam, you are the smartest person I know. You can figure it out."

"So if I want it to mean-"

"Yes."

"or-"

"Always."

"Is it really that simple?"

"Always means always."

"Good. It's nice to know I have someone to clean my house and pick up my dry cleaning."

"Wait. What?"

"Fine, Jack. Clean _our_ house and pick up _our _dry cleaning."


	62. Avoiding the mess in the future

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**Take 62: Avoiding the mess in the future**

Category for this take: Romance / Angst (not bad Angst)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, we sure made a mess."

"Yes we did."

"People got hurt."

"Some more than others."

"So what can we do about it? I thought my transfer would help, but..."

"I'm taking over Hammond's old job."

"Which means I'll in your chain of command forever!"

"Until I retire...again."

"Until they _let_ you retire."

"Ah, yes."

"So what do we do, Jack?"

"You always have the great ideas, Sam."

"This all started because some concussion-induced hallucinations manifested by my subconscious gave me some misleading advice."

"Well shame on them. I guess you need to avoid concussions."

"I need more than that."

"Anything you want."

"Neither of us wants to quit."

"Speak for yourself. Two days in DC, and I'm sure I'll be ready."

"Deep down, neither of us _really_ wants to quit. I guess that means we have to continue waiting."

"That's what caused this mess to begin with."

"I have a suggestion. We need regular reminders."

"Reminders of what?"

"Of what we told each other in the za'tarc test."

"But that's not true anymore."

"It's not?"

"No, I care about you a lot more than I did back then."

"Oh! I do too. Just please don't tease me like that."

"Ok. I need a little more. I need regular smiles. No, not that one...there...that'll do."

"And I need regular c'mere's and either a one armed or two armed hug."

"I can do that. In fact, I need that too. But what-"

"Nothing else."

"Really?"

"I'm a low maintenance girl. Regular reminders of what we are waiting for, private smiles, and comforting hugs. And don't buy me a house until we are ready to do it together."

"Noted."

"What about you? Is that going to be enough for you?"

"As long as you're happy, and we have a chance at the end of this, I'll take whatever else I can get. You know, Sam... When I said I cared more than I did back then, I really should have said-"

"Jack, I know. Me too. However we probably should avoid actually saying that for now."

"Ok. Just so you know."

"I do. And you should know too."

"I do."


	63. Better than

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**Take 63: Better than**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I've never felt this content. Fishing is better than..."

"Better than what? Chocolate?"

"I think fishing here with you might be."

"Better than your doohickeys?"

"Maybe not better, but they can be a little more dangerous."

"Better than your motorcycle?"

"A lot more peaceful."

"Better than quarks?"

"Oh yeah."

"Really? Then the real question is, is it better than blue Jell-O?"

"I don't know if I would go that far. But I would have to put it just under blue Jell-O and a couple steps above sex."

"What? No. I don't think so. I love fishing, but it is not better than sex."

"I think this might be. I've never felt this relaxed."

"Sam, if you think this is better than sex, you haven't been doing it right."

"Maybe not. I guess you'll just have to show me tonight."

"..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Thanks to **black widow mistress** for almost choking on her chocolate while writing a review for Chapter 42: Life, the Universe, and Everything. The rest of the idea evolved from that.


	64. Discoveries

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**Take 64: Discoveries**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Pete was ok with you coming up here?"

"I would hope so."

"Hope so? You mean you didn't tell him?"

"It wasn't his business."

"Carter, this trip wasn't top secret like missions through the stargate. You should have told him. If you wanted to bring him along, it would've been ok."

"Uh, no way. I really don't want to see him right now. Speaking of which, is Agent Johnson joining us later, or is this just SG-1?"

"What? Uh, no, Kerry is not coming. Just SG-1 and me."

"Sir, we still think of you as part of SG-1. However, you should have invited your girlfriend. She might think something is going on between us."

"Well, I'm fairly certain my 'girlfriend' would not have wanted to come."

"Too rustic for a CIA agent?"

"No, it's more the fact that she has chosen not to be my girlfriend anymore."

"What? I'm sorry. How long?"

"Since last week."

"I didn't mess things up by stopping by your house last week, did I? Do you need me to tell her nothing is going on between us? I just needed some advice from a friend."

"No. She's pretty good at reading people. She figured out 'my issue' on her own."

"Your issue?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Carter"

"I'm sorry, Sir. So it appears we both are single again."

"Wait a second. What did you say?"

"We are both single again."

"What about the cop you're marrying?"

"Didn't Daniel tell you I called off the wedding?"

"You did? When? Why?"

"Yes. Last week. Because I'm in love with somebody else."

"Really? This person wouldn't happen to be the same person who's issue is he is in love with a beautiful, brilliant Lieutenant Colonel under his command instead of his now ex-girlfriend."

"I don't know. You tell me, Jack"

"Ok. I'm telling you it is, Sam."

"Good. Now what?"

"Now we fish. Tonight, we ditch the guys, I take you to dinner at a nice restaurant in town, and we figure this out."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: If I were an Asgard, this would be the last one, because 64 is the round-number for the eight-fingered. Instead, I have 36 more planned.


	65. More discoveries

A/N: Another big, long honest discussion of practicality

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**Take 65: More discoveries**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, do you have something you want to tell me?"

"No. I can't think of anything, Sir."

"Walter insisted I get caught up on my paperwork before I left."

"Since when do you report to Walter, Sir?"

"Funny. I don't. But he can be really annoying sometimes. I didn't finish it anyway."

"You didn't?"

"No. I was distracted by the second request on the pile."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh. So, Carter, do you have something you want to tell me?"

"You did see it. Here I thought I put it at the bottom of the pile."

"I like flipping the pile and working from the bottom."

"Oops."

"Carter."

"I was hoping you would see that after the trip so we could just enjoy the week without all the anticipation."

"Anticipation? I'm just pissed my right hand and former 2IC, the person I trust more than anyone, has decided to leave me without an explanation!"

"I'm not _leaving_ you."

"Area 51 is in the middle of the desert, fercryinoutloud!"

"I'm just getting out of your chain of command."

"Am I that bad of a CO?"

"Of course not, Sir. Being out of your chain of command present certain other...opportunities."

"Haven't I given you every opportunity? Ask the other lab geeks and the other SG team commanders. None of them get what they want as much as you."

"You've been playing favorites?"

"No, you just have better judgment about what really needs to be done. Well, except for that insane space race you wanted to be in. But that was Hammond's call, not mine. It's not just you. Teal'c, too. With him it's because he so rarely asks for anything, I'm worried he'll go on a Jaffa revenge mission if I don't agree. Also Daniel, except I like messing with him some of the time. I guess it might seem like I play favorites, but you guys are the best. So tell me what opportunity have I not given you?"

"The one _with_ you."

"Oh. That."

"Yes. I need to give 'us' a try before it is too late. That is, if you want it, too."

"Is that the only reason you are transferring?"

"I could think of other reasons. Just none as important."

"What reasons?"

"Is this because you aren't interested anymore? I need to know, Sir."

"Carter. Sam. Please trust me. What are the other reasons?"

"Cassie has been having trouble at UCLA. I think she is still grieving and is worried about me on missions. Area 51 is closer, so she could visit more easily on weekends. I'll also have more regular hours so we can talk on the phone more. As it is, I've been working double duty trying to help with the Daedelus' system integration issues while still commanding SG-1. At Area 51, I can help directly with the new ship. I'll be twice as effective in half the time. If I stay at the SGC, I'll be stuck breaking in a new team because Teal'c won't be around much, and Daniel..."

"He slid his Atlantis transfer request under yours, so I saw it right before yours."

"So you see the only thing keeping me at the SGC is the chance to see you every day. But I've gotten to the point where I'd take seeing you every so often with an '_us'_ rather than seeing you everyday with no chance of an 'us'."

"Do you want this even if there wasn't an 'us'?" 

"I wouldn't be as happy, but yes, I guess I do."

"Head of R&D at Area 51 is a good career move, as long as it is temporary. We'll need you back on the front line eventually. You never know when the planet might need saving."

"Wait, did you say 'Head', Sir?"

"Carter, that place is full of civilian geeks. You'd be the third highest ranking officer on the base, the other two of which are not scientists. And oh yeah, you'll be the smartest geek there."

"I wasn't looking to be the Head of-"

"Remember that little pitch you all gave me last year about being able to do whatever you want?"

"Oh yeah."

"So you want this even if the chain of command was not an issue?"

"Yes. I'm not letting you retire for us."

"Fine. Consider the transfer approved when I get back, Carter. And for the record, nobody ever lets me retire."

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"General Hammond gets to retire this time around."

"Do you know who is going to take his place?"

"Who do you think?"

"You have got to me kidding me! Dammit!"

"I think they're nuts for picking me. I'm going to have to pack away the weapons so I don't shoot somebody."

"I've never going to be able to get out your chain of command unless one of us quits!"

"True. But that's ok."

"No it isn't, Sir. Now, we'll never have a chance.'"

"Carter, calm down. Remember, 'I can do anything I want.'"

"Within reason. Breaking the regs is not within reason."

"I'm in charge. It is if I say so."

"Sir, I don't think-"

"Yeah, right. Carter, you always think. Just hear me out."

"Ok."

"The new job gives me an accelerated second star, although they are thinking of making it a three star position in the future. Regardless of rank, I've been assured only four people get to order me around: the President, the CJCS, the Vice CJCS, and the CSAF. All of them have assured me a "don't ask, don't tell" policy will apply to my personal life. That was my condition for accepting the position and is in writing."

"Seriously? So we sneak around?"

"No. We just don't advertise. All PDA is private DA. Public dates are 'dinners between friends.' We might occasionally 'crash at a friend's place.' Anybody who 'asks' is referred to the CSAF, who will tell them to get their own life and leave us alone. Unfortunately, anything official and legal will have to be put off until my retirement. That's the 'don't tell' part of the policy."

"They are willing to let us break the regs?"

"They know I would shoot someone I care about more than I am supposed to if it meant saving the planet. That is good enough for them. Your department appropriations must be approved by Congressional Oversight or the IOA, so there is no conflict of interest. I won't be your _direct _CO anymore, so I won't be writing your evals."

"I can't believe you talked to all of them about us."

"No. They didn't ask who it was. That's the policy after all. They might have guessed and maybe increased their personal amounts in the SGC betting pool, but I officially know nothing about that."

"What betting pool?"

"Ask Walter. He had a line at his station in the observation deck after you broke it off with the cop."

"You're right. I think I don't want to know anymore. So let me get this straight, Jack. We're in the clear?"

"Yes."

"Right now…without waiting for the transfer?"

"Yes."

"As long as we don't advertise or get married until after one of us retires?"

"It's complicated. I know."

"Not exactly. We can work with this."

"So do you still want to transfer? Unfortunately, I'm going to be in DC."

"Yes. It's farther away, but not so much by phone, plane or F-302, and I'll be testing the Daedelus transports a lot. Cassie does need me. By the way, she could use some more regular calls from you, too. Or even better, regular visits on weekends to see both of us."

"As long as you are happy, Sam."

"If we are finally going to have a chance, I'm happy."

"Me too."

"Since we are in the clear-right now-what do you plan on doing about it?"

"C'mere"


	66. Intervention

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**Take 66: Intervention**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor / Friendship

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, Sam, we need to talk. Join me, Teal'c."

"What is this, Daniel?"

"Jack, this is an intervention."

"An intervention? Ok, so I put beer in my omelets. I don't need an intervention."

"No, no, no. It's an intervention for the two of you."

"Huh?"

"Teal'c and I feel that this unresolved thing between the two of you has gone on long enough."

"What unresolved thing? Do you know what he is talking about, Sam?"

"I have no idea, Jack."

"Come on guys! You both know what I am talking about!"

"Sorry, Daniel. I might not be the brightest guy, but Sam _is_ the brightest girl, and neither of know of anything unresolved."

"Help me out here, Teal'c."

"I believe O'Neill and ColonelCarter are saying they no longer have anything unresolved between them."

"At least one of you has a clue. Thanks, Teal'c. Daniel, next time, ask Teal'c before staging an unnecessary intervention with my fiancée and me."


	67. Open invite

A/N: In case you missed it, there were two chapters yesterday (64, 65) and two today (66, 67). There will be FIVE tomorrow (68-72).

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**Take 67: Open invite**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"You know, Carter, since you like it here so much, you're welcome to use this place anytime. Consider it an open invite."

"Would you be here too?"

"I could be, Sam."

"Then I'll be here, Jack. Anytime you want me."

"I always want you."

"Then I know where I'm spending my next leave and who I'm spending it with."

"Me, too."


	68. Just like Maybourne

A/N: First of the five fishing-themed chapters.

Happy birthday to angelthree117, who said in a review that today is her birthday. According to the "birthday paradox" (look it up on wikipedia: en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/Birthday_paradox), if 23 people read this story, there is an over 50% chance two of them have the same birthday. That birthday might not be today. However if 253 people read this chapter (other than angelthree117), there is an over 50% chance at least one of them also has today as their birthday. If so, happy birthday to that person or persons, too.

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**Take 68: Just like Maybourne**

Category for this take: Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_**KABOOOOOOOOM!**_

"What the hell was that!"

"I apologize for having startled you, O'Neill. I just thought explosives would be a more efficient way of catching fish."

"Fercryinoutload, Teal'c! You're as bad as Maybourne. Well, Carter, I can now confirm I no longer have any fish living in my pond."

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A/N: No, I did not mean multiple wives, and everyone who thought so should be ashamed of him or herself.


	69. Better bait

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**Take 69: Better bait**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, I think I know why we haven't caught anything."

"Really? What do you suggest, Colonel?"

"We need better bait."

"This isn't fly fishing, Sam. Worms should be fine. I do have a few lures you could try, but they are too big for the fish in this pond. Trust me when I say you're not going to catch anything with them."

"Hmmm...maybe we could try something else."

"Like what."

"I don't know…chopped up pieces of Kinsey or maybe Woosley?"

"That would make the fish lose their appetites. Someone like you would be much more appetizing. But nobody gets to nibble on you but me, Sam."

"Plus I like your nibbling a lot better than the prospect of floating around in pieces in a pond."

"I know what we could use."

"What, Jack?"

"Magnets."

"And how exactly is that supposed to work?"

"I don't know. That's what I have you for. I'm sure you could figure something out."


	70. Fishing trouble

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**Take 70: Fishing trouble**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"O'Neill, have you caught anything, yet?"

"No, and it's your fault, Teal'c."

"I do not understand."

"You are so intimidating, you are scaring away all of the fish. It's bad enough with Carter here. Her dazzling beauty is lighting up the pond, letting the fish know we are here."

"Sir, does that mean you want me to go?"

"Of course not. The obstacle of your great looks makes this a fair contest. Having two obstacles is not fair. However if it gets close to dinner and we haven't caught anything, I'll bring Daniel over here to bore the fish to death."


	71. MacGyver

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**Take 71: MacGyver**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, where are you going?"

"I'll be right back. I need to get a few springs, a pulley, some string, and duct tape."

"Where are you going to get springs and a pulley?"

"I brought them in my pack."

"I'm almost afraid to ask. What are these supplies for?"

"I'm going to MacGyver an automatic casting system."

"That defeats the purpose of fish-_ing_."

"I just thought we could use a break, but I wouldn't want the fish unattended. We need to catch our dinner, but Daniel and Teal'c really don't want to fish."

"You already need a break? Bored already?"

"Not at all. I just thought if the fishing could be automated, we could both go inside and do some private fishing."

"What are you waiting for? Hurry and get those springs!"


	72. What a catch!

**A/N: In case you missed it, there were two chapters two days ago (64, 65), two yesterday (66, 67), and FIVE today (68-72).**

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**Take 72: What a catch!**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, what are you doing?"

"I'm removing the bobber, Sir."

"I wouldn't recommend that. You're going to get the hook caught on the bottom."

"I think I need the hook to go lower to catch a fish."

"You could just reposition the bobber."

"Let me try this first, Sir."

"Ok, I'll get my pocketknife ready to cut your line free."

"Just a few times, Sir?"

"Ok."

"Hey, I caught something!"

"_Probably the bottom._"

"What was that, Sir?"

"Is it pulling back?"

"I don't know. Wait. I guess not."

"It's caught. Here's my knife. "

"Wait, I think I can get it."

"Don't snap the pole!"

"The pole will be fine. I'll brace the line around the arm of my chair...There! I got it! It's loose!"

"Pull it in slowly. You could still catch something else."

"Sir, I'm seeing a reflection off the hook. What is that? … Is that what I think that is? ... How in the world did I catch a ring? ... Whose is it?"

"Sam, let me have that."

"Just a second. It has an inscription."

"Sam!"

"It says, 'Always My Sam', and it has the stargate symbol for Earth... Jack, what is an engagement ring, that appears to be for me, doing at the bottom of your pond?"

"That is a long story."

"Jack, when did you buy this?"

"Shortly after the za'tarc test."

"That long ago?"

"I wanted to be prepared, in case things changed."

"And how did it end up in your pond?"

"A drunken weekend after you got your other ring."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Can I still have it?"

"You still want it?"

"I did catch it. It has my name on it. It's like it was meant to be, Jack."

"We are meant to be, Sam. I would love for you to wear my ring. Will you?"

"As long as it comes with an eventual wedding, I would love to. Because I love _you_, Jack."

"And I love you too, Sam."


	73. Agenda

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**Take 73: Agenda**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"What's on the agenda for this evening, Sir?"

"Dinner. If we don't catch anything, I'll set up the grill for burgers."

"The sky is so clear, could we set up the telescope for some stargazing."

"Sounds nice, Sam. Any other suggestions?"

"Midnight skinning dipping and warming up by the fire, leading to other...activities I would like even more."

"Add a mole hunt, and it sounds perfect, Sam."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Thanks to **gatehead81** for the mole suggestion.


	74. The trap

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**Take 74: The trap**

Category for this take: Romance / Friendship / Musical

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_"Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah._

_Why don't you and I combine?_

_Let's get together, what do you say?_

_We can have a swinging time._

_We'd be a crazy team._

_Why don't we make a scene? Together."_

"Carter, why is Daniel singing?"

"Just be happy Teal'c is just clapping and isn't singing along, Sir"

"Do you know what this is about? I don't know the song. You're the musical expert."

"It's from _The Parent Trap_. I think we're getting set up."

"As if we don't already have enough pressure this weekend! Doesn't he know we're waiting until your transfer goes through?"

"No. Just think of this as good blackmail material and go with it, Jack. We'll get even later."

"I love it when you scheme, Sam."


	75. Out of the room

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**Take 75: Out of the room**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I think its time...Jack."

"Time for what...Sam?"

"Time to let it out of the room."

"So where are we putting it?"

"We should probably keep it off the base, but we could put it at some nice restaurants, at the movies, at your new place in DC, at my new place in Nevada, at this cabin, in the back of your truck, in..."

"So any place we won't get arrested."

"Pretty much."


	76. Miss you

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**Take 76: Miss you**

Category for this take: Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I'm going to miss you, Sir."

"I'm going to miss you too, Carter. What are you going to miss most?"

"Hmmm... well, now I'm not going to have someone to call to ask what color to wear in the morning. After all, you are always going to be wearing dress blues."

"Smile all you want, Carter. Thanks for rubbing it in."


	77. Not exactly

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**Take 77: Not exactly**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"This is kind of difficult, Sir. Daniel told me it was true, but I have to ask."

"Carter?"

"You're not seeing Agent Johnson anymore, are you?"

"No, I am not."

"It's probably none of my business, but are you planning on trying to get back together with her when you transfer to DC?"

"No way. I'm not exactly single."

"Oh. I'm sorry I pried, Sir. It really was none of my business."

"I think it is, Carter. I'm not exactly single, but I'm not exactly seeing someone either."

"'Not exactly', Sir? I don't understand."

"Well, we haven't exactly sorted out our relationship stuff, yet. I'm not too good at that stuff, so it might take a while."

"Sir, I really don't need to know-"

"I think you do, Sam. You're going to have to be patient with me. It'll be hard having a relationship with someone in Nevada while I'll in DC."

"Wait, what? Your new girlfriend is in Nevada?"

"You did ask for a transfer to Area 51, which I approved. So if you agree to the girlfriend part, Sam, then yes."

"Absolutely, I agree. You know, Jack, you really are bad at this relationship stuff. You scared me there for a minute."

"It's a skill."

"So how do we do this?"

"I secured the blessing of everyone who might cause a problem professionally. That was easier than I thought it would be. We should probably let Danny, T, and Cassie know, but otherwise we really shouldn't spread it around…unless you want to."

"You're right. Some people might not understand. So if they ask, I'll say I'm _'not exactly'_ single, just like you."


	78. Family

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**Take 78: Family**

Category for this take: Family / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, I need to know something. Is it ok if we don't start a family?"

"What is bringing this on, Sam?"

"I just have been thinking. The new house and idea of a dog really scared me. I'm not ready for that. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready. I have my brother and his family. I have two fantastic teammates, which are like even better brothers. I have Cassie, who is like a daughter to me. I love my job, and it is really important work that needs to be done. And... I have you."

"You'll always have me, Sam."

"So are you ok with that, Jack?"

"As long as I have you in my family, Sam, and _our_ 'like a daughter' comes to visit _our_ home occasionally when she is on break from college, I'll be happy. Maybe your crazy brothers should come visit occasionally, like they did on this trip."

"That's all I need to be happy, too. I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Sam."


	79. Giggling

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**Take 79: Giggling**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Carter, I thought I gave you an order a long time ago. No giggling."

"Sorry, Sir, but I can't stop now. I'm running an experiment."

"Hey! No work at the cabin! And you are still giggling."

"It's not work, exactly. See, under certain special circumstances what we would see as an effect preceding a cause would in fact be an effect following a cause in a parallel reality."

"Carter! That sounds like work to me. I've always hated those parallel reality things."

"I'm taking out the parallel reality part of the experiment."

"You are still giggling! Stop it!"

"I have to for the experiment...Sir. See we know that the cause of your 'sidearm' can create the effect of my giggling. I'm trying to determine if my giggling can cause your sidearm to make an appearance."

"Aaaahhh. Carter. You know I have to go inside, sometime. I'm going to need a big distraction to get past the guys."

"When that time comes, Sir, I'll cover for you. Or I'll just cover you. Whichever you prefer."

"You are just...evil. However, I think I like this new side of you."


	80. Wooing

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**Take 80: Wooing**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, just because we are both free of ex-fiancés, ex-girlfriends, and regulations, you should know I still expect some wooing."

"Did you just say 'wooing'?"

"Yes. Wooing. You know dinner, flowers, dancing, compliments, snuggling...wooing."

"I see. I assume this is something the cop did?"

"Well...uh... There was flowers and dancing."

"I see. What kind of flowers?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, Jack."

"No. You brought this up."

"Fine. A dozen red roses."

"So he didn't know you prefer daisies?"

"No, but he did give me one with a dinner invite and the other eleven later."

"Smooth. He did the trick where he buys you flowers once and then makes you think you are getting flowers twice."

"I know. I _did _realize that at the time."

"And the dancing? Let me guess. Crashed a wedding reception."

"No. 50th anniversary party."

"I see. He surrounded himself by the elderly to make himself look good. So you are saying the bar is low and you are a cheap date?"

"Quit it, Jack. It seemed sweet at the time. In my defense, I was coming off that massive concussion from the Prometheus. I'm not this time, so I expect some proper wooing from you."

"Are you saying that taking you to a secluded cabin, with a forest of flowers that _you_ can pick from, isn't wooing?"

"The guys are here."

"To protect your 'virtue', if you desire. And then we have fishing."

"Fishing?"

"I'll admit I was disappointed, but should have expected, that you would catch on to casting so quickly. It's one of those 'help you out' activities. You know. I'd stand behind you with my arm around you."

"Smooth, Jack."

"So now, you are really going to make me wait, huh? After eight years of watching you from afar. Admiring the beautiful, young, intelligent Captain grow into the wonderful woman that I can't imagine my life without. The woman whose happiness is more important than my own. The one person that makes my life worth-"

"Ok. Fine. You win, Jack. That's enough wooing for now. I expect more later, but let go inside first. It's time for some woohooing."

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A/N: Good news. I've written all 100 takes! Since I don't have to worry about a posting buffer, I'll be posting more quickly. I plan on posting the last twenty takes over the next nine days. Watch for double postings.


	81. Daniel

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**Take 81: Daniel**

Category for this take: Friendship / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Is it just me, Sam, or does Daniel seem a little off?"

"No, it's not just you."

"Do you know something? What am I saying? Of course you know something. You know everything."

"I think he's lonely. Teal'c has Ishta. And we are now together."

"Finally!"

"Daniel's feeling a little...at odds."

"So you are saying we need to get Danny a girl!"

"Jack, speaking from experience, fix-ups are not a good idea."

"Maybe not a fix-up. Maybe he just needs a push to someone already out there. The guy has a girl on almost every planet. He just needs someone that can be reached without approval for stargate travel. What about that Sarah—the one who used to be a Ghoa'uld?"

"It didn't work out. There's a reason they broke up to begin with."

"Ok. Wait, I know the perfect girl for him."

"Really? Who?"

"Did you ever see those security tapes of the Prometheus hijacking?"

"You can't be serious. That woman was a criminal."

"But they were all over each other. Plus Danny likes fixing people. He was making headway to reforming her in just a few hours. And he was definitely into her."

"You're just trying to torture him for inviting himself and Teal'c along for this trip, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little. We're not getting enough alone time, and we're moving to other sides of the country from each other in just a couple weeks."

"You know they are going to miss you, too."

"I'll see them around, but I've been seeing them for eight years. You on the other hand..."

"You've seen me for eight years, too."

"No, I've seen Captain/Major/Lieutenant Colonel/Doctor Carter for eight years. I've seen Samantha O'Neill for three days. This was supposed to be our honeymoon."

"We'll have another one during my next leave. How are we supposed to find this woman for Daniel anyway?"

"Are you kidding? Mark my words. They didn't give me that second star for nothing. She'll be knocking on the gate in a few months with some hare-brained scheme just so she can spend some more 'quality time' with Daniel. When that happens, we make sure she stays."

"If you say so, _General_."


	82. Siler

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**Take 82: Siler**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Carter. ... What happened, Siler? If there is a problem with the stargate, can't you take care of it? ... Good. I'd hate to have to break up my vacation already. So why did you call? ... You heard? ... No, I'm not quitting. I'm transferring to Area 51. ... No, it's not a demotion. In a way, it's actually a promotion. ... No I'm not going to turn down the transfer. ... Siler, I got to go. Bye."_

"That was weird, Sir."

"What?"

"Siler called because he found out about my transfer."

"And he didn't want you to go."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not. I hope he's someplace safe when he finds out about us."

"I don't understand."

"He has a huge crush on you."

"What?"

"Don't sound surprised. Most of the SGC has a crush on you. Siler just has a tendency of hurting himself. I'd hate for him to have a serious injury because he finds out about our relationship."

"Ha ha. Wait, most of the SGC?"

"Oh yeah."

"You're making that up."

"Nope. Ask Daniel."

"Why don't I know about it?"

"Most are too intimidated by you. Teal'c and I scare off the rest."

"What have you guys been doing?"

"Nothing. I promise. It's just nobody in their right mind would make a move on the girl the leader of SG-1/commander of the base has the hots for."

"But-"

"You can't really think people didn't know how we felt about each other."

"I guess not. What has Teal'c been doing?"

"Nothing. Even if someone didn't know that I've always had a thing for you, no one with half a brain would risk the retaliation from Teal'c if something went wrong when dating you. Personally, I'm scared sometimes too. I just remind myself you would kill me quickly before Teal'c ever got a chance."

"And don't you forget it, _Sir._"


	83. Sis

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**Take 83: Sis**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Carter. ... Hey Sis. ... No. Not yet. ... Please stop pestering me. ... When it happens, if it happens, I'll let you know. ... I'm hanging up now. ... Bye, Sis."_

"Carter, who was that?"

"That was...uh...that was my sister."

"Your sister? Since when do you have a sister?"

"Uh... Almost two years."

"In fact, I remember Jacob calling you his only daughter. Were Jacob and Selmak getting busy?"

"Eww. No. She's not exactly my sister."

"Not exactly? Is this some alien adoption like Cassie?"

"No. She's my cl-"

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Carter. ... Oh, it's you. ... She's shouldn't have told you. ... I think you should both stay out of it. ... No, I'm not going to- ... You're not going to stop calling, are you? ... Fine."_

"Sir, it's for you."

"What?"

"Here, take it."

"Whatever."

_"O'Neill. ... No, this is O'Neill. ... Oh, it's you. Really funny. ... What are you calling Carter for? ... I thought we agreed to stay away from each other. That applies to Carter too. ... That would just be too weird. ... What? ... Really? ... You're engaged? ... Isn't that a little creepy? ... Why? Because everyone your age is really thirty years younger than you. ... Wait a second! That call earlier was from Carter's sister. That is just wrong. ... She's what? ... You've got to me kidding me! ... Whatever. ... Why are you bugging us? ... We're on vacation at the cabin. ... Yes, The Ca-bin. ... Well, I haven't had time yet. We just got here today, and technically we are still in the same chain of command until midnight. Some of us weren't lucky enough to be cloned out of the chain of command. ... Ok. Well congratulations on the two of you, and please don't call for a few days. You might be interrupting something important."_

"Carter?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"A clone?"

"I didn't want the other you to be lonely. I liked the idea that all of those alternate us-es get together."

"Well, that's just great! Now mini-you and mini-me are getting married before we do."

"Before we do?"

"Sam, if mini-you calls back, tell her you have an appointment a minute after midnight at this dock and to stop bugging us."

"I like that plan, Jack."

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A/N: Check out "The Intergalactic Social Event of the Decade" by Vicky Ocean.


	84. Walter

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**Take 84: Walter**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Carter. ... Ok."_

"It's for you, Sir. It's Walter."

_"What!? ... Yes, I'm transferring. ... Well, thank you, Walter. It's nice to know you finally feel like you broke me in. ... Well if you didn't mean for it to sound that way, maybe you shouldn't have said it that way. ... Don't worry. The person I've picked to replace me is good at the paperwork thing. ... No, as much as it probably should be, it's not her. ... Because she's needed at Area 51. ... No, the new guy doesn't work at the SGC. ... Just think of it this way, you'll look like an expert to him and he will be looking to you for advice. ... Bye Walter. I've got fish to catch."_

"Walter didn't want you to go, Sir?"

"No, he wants me to go, because I'm horrible at the whole paperwork thing, and he wants you to take my place."

"Me? I've got at least five more years to make General."

"I know. Otherwise you would have been my first choice. Of course that would be after a sabbatical allowing us to finalize that other project of ours, Sam. That's it! He's trying to keep us apart!"

"What? You're not telling me Walter has a crush on me, too, are you? I thought he was married."

"No. Well, yes he's married, but everyone at the SGC has at little a little crush on you. His is innocent. But that's not what I'm talking about."

"Jack."

"Sorry, Walter is the bookie for the pool. He probably doesn't want to have to deal with the fallout of all of the payouts-"

"And if I were in charge of the SGC, I'd still report directly to you-"

"And we'd have to cancel our wedding plans."

"That can't really be the reason he's trying to keep us apart."

"Sam, I've heard rumors that the pot is well over fifty thousand, with 36 different subcategories. Walter is probably going to have to take two days of leave to settle the bets. And that is just for the local payouts."

"Local?"

"Hammond, the President, and the Joint Chiefs are in DC. If some of the payouts are off-world, he's going to have to pay some SG teams under to table to transport the payouts on their next visits to the Alpha, Beta, and Gamma sites, as well as some of our allies that we have regular contact with. Some of those allies were betting livestock. You know how much trouble he'll be in bringing cows through the gate."

"Well that's what he gets for placing bets on our love life. Only a sucker would think this wouldn't happen eventually."


	85. Mitchell

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**Take 85: Mitchell**

Category for this take: Humor / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

_BRRRRRRINNGGGGG!_

_"Carter. ... Hey, Cam. ... Yeah, I heard. ..."_

"Hey, Carter."

_"Hold on a sec, Cam."_

"What is it, Sir?"

"Don't tell him about the transfers."

"Jack."

"Please."

"Fine."

_"I'm back, Cam. ... How's your rehab going? ... That's great! ... So you'll be at the SGC next week? ... Oh, you heard about that? ... How? ... Makes sense. ... Ok, good luck at your last PT session. ... Later."_

"So that was 'Cam'. Do I need to be jealous of Mitchell?"

"Of Cam? No. He's just a friend. A little too cocky for my taste, but he's a nice guy and a good officer. I flew with him some in the gulf. Considering the fact that I'm in love with somebody else, he wouldn't have a chance."

"Well I know how you have a thing for the leaders of SG-1."

"Leaders, plural? SG-1 has had three leaders, you, Makepeace, and me. Makepeace was a sexist traitor, and I can't have a 'thing' for myself."

"Hence your engagement misadventures this past year."

"I'm just going to ignore that, Jack. Otherwise you'd be on the couch tonight."

"Ouch. Ok. I'm just trying to guard my territory better."

"Wow. You do want to sleep on the couch."

"Hey. It's my cabin. And you are my territory as much as I'm your territory, too."

"I guess I'm ok with that. So why don't you want Mitchell to know about my transfer? By the way, he knows about yours because Landry's name was on his new orders."

"Yeah, I want to surprise him about the whole SG-1 leadership thing."

"You really think it's a good idea for someone with no ground experience to be put in charge of the premiere team?"

"He did well in his training evals. His time as 302 squadron commander showed he was a good leader. His perseverance after the accident shows he could stand up to a Goa'uld hand device as well as the next guy. Landry said he'd defer to my judgment. If I didn't pick Mitchell, someone worse could have been put in command of the team."

"I thought you'd want a Colonel, not a Lieutenant Colonel."

"You know very few of the teams have Full Birds in command. Some even have Majors. No need to disrupt an existing team by transferring someone from another team. Reynolds was suggested, but as much as I like him, he's better at dealing with the Marines, and SG-1 would keep him too busy to cover the base when Landry is out. Dixon wants to spend more time with is kids baseball teams. Most of the Air Force colonels are falling over each other trying to get in line for a 304 or are too old to be in the field on a ground team."

"That's where it looks like the IOA is throwing their money. I couldn't believe how easy it was to get the Area 51 transfer. It's all because they want more ships as fast as possible."

"I know. They don't seem to realize we need both. The Navy wasn't mothballed because of these new things called 'airplanes.' I'm going to have all sorts of fun explaining balanced military power to these pencil pushers."

"You wanted the job."

"No, I wanted that side deal we made with the President and Joint Chiefs. I just figured I'd be trading food order requisitions for a few more politicians. Paper for people I could fantasize about shooting. You know there is a side benefit to Mitchell being in charge."

"You mean other than your practical joke of poor taste?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking of when you get transferred back to the SGC."

"What?"

"You know it is going to happen eventually. They'll eventually realize you are needed there."

"You're probably right."

"Of course I am. So when you transfer back, you'll be put on SG-1."

"I really don't want to command SG-1 again."

"I know. You want more time for research. That's what Area 51 is about. It gives you a command while giving you time for your doohickeys. When you get back to the SGC, if a Full Bird were in charge of SG-1, you would be the 2IC again. However, somebody like Mitchell would be thrilled enough to have you on his team. He also knows not to try to order you around too much. It would practically be a shared command, without the hassle."

"He does have a little SG-1 worship in him."

"Right. He can be stuck with the SG-1 paperwork, giving you time to continue your projects on the side. I'm sure he'd give you a free hand off-world, too."

"That's really...thoughtful. But do you really think that's worth risking the SG-1 team for?"

"Since we're not transferring anyone from another team, SG-1 is going to get an inexperienced team leader in any case. Mitchell will do fine. He's not any more of a risk than anyone else would be. Him being an SG-1 fan boy means he will try extra hard to live up to the reputation. If it doesn't work, Landry will simply replace him."

"Hopefully not too soon. If he's having trouble, I'd probably be recalled sooner rather than later."

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A/N: That was the 12th and last of the cell phone series: Chapters 20-25, 51-52, 82-85


	86. Descended mistakes

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**Take 86: Descended mistakes**

Category for this take: Angst

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

The two of them sat there, simply fishing on the short dock. By all outward appearances, they seemed content: two colleagues, two teammates, enjoying a pleasant morning doing nothing important. This break from their normal routines was well-earned. No saving the galaxy was necessary during this reprieve. Earth was as safe as it had been in eight years. For this one moment, the chaos of the world could be ignored, leaving them with only the pond, a couple of fishing rods, and the quiet of their own thoughts.

Of course that was the problem: their own thoughts. Eight years of thoughts and memories. Eight years of feelings they weren't allowed to feel. Eight years of heartache and loneliness. Yes, they had been together, but only as teammates. For them, teammates would never be enough. They deserved more. Through the years, their loneliness was occasionally spelled by others. These others never could find the deep places in their hearts that these two soul mates privately saved for each other.

Sitting on that dock, their thoughts could only drift to the future...to what would happen next. Recent miscues over the past year had only underlined how much they needed each other-not some shadow of a replacement. Somehow, these mistakes had not destroyed their feelings. Instead, they demonstrated just how important it was that _now_ was the time to act. It was finally the time to strengthen that hidden bond between them in ways they had previously dared not dream about.

They both knew it, but yet they just sat there...fishing...neither one certain how to make the next step. They loved each other. There was never a question of that. They both wanted more. They each wanted the best for the other. They both wanted everything together. But how could they get there-

"Daniel, would you just please SHUT UP!"

"Excuse me?"

"Teal'c, please whack Daniel over the head for me."

"Hey! Ow! What was that for?"

"Daniel, you been going on and on about how Carter and I feel about each other."

"Wait, you heard that?"

"Of course we heard that!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I'm having trouble adjusting to being descended again. I don't know when I am thinking great thoughts or speaking out loud."

"Whatever. And Teal'c, why didn't you shut him up sooner?"

"I am sorry, O'Neill. I thought this was some Tau'ri ritual for two warriors who were beginning a life together. After reciting the depth of your feelings, I was expecting Daniel to list your many battles and accomplishments together."

"Will you three just drop it, please? Daniel's been embarrassing us enough as it is. Can't we pretend this didn't happen?"

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"You should be, Daniel. Next time I'm going to let my boyfriend kick your ass."

"And when I'm done, my girlfriend is going to wipe the floor with your leftovers."

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A/N: Revised Category for this take: Humor / Romance

Now re-read the chapter, imagining Daniel doing a deep voice over. Well, as deep as he can get. It's not like Teal'c would be vocal enough to voice the whole soliloquy :)

This was one of my favorite ideas. Hopefully I did it as least some amount of justice.


	87. I meant to say

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**Take 87: I meant to say**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, I think we need to clarify a few things."

"Such as?"

" _'If things had been different?'_ "

"I wouldn't be standing there looking at your engagement ring from another man."

"That's what I thought. When I said_ 'it's not serious or anything'_, I wanted you to stop me before it was. I stopped humming when I realized you wouldn't."

"I was happy you were_ 'happy about something other than quarks.'_ "

"I would have been even happier with you."

"Ok, so how about _'there's actually a very good reason that I'm bothering you with this'_?"

"Because I was hoping you'd give me a reason to break off the engagement."

"I wanted to. I can think of a few other things we should have stated differently. For example, in addition to _'I care about her, a lot more than I'm supposed to' _I would have said 'I love her, even though I'm not supposed to.' "

"I felt the same way. It wasn't just _'an honor serving with you.' _ There was no place I would rather be."

"I guess I should admit that was not _'my sidearm'_ "

"I knew that already. You know if you ordered me to get a life with _you_, I would have left the base more often. "Oh, and _'friends going to a wedding' _on Abydos, I wanted to say 'a couple going to a wedding.' "

"Or even better, Sam, 'Any chance of a double ceremony?' "

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

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A/N: quotes and references from Affinity, Chimera, Threads, Divide and Conquer, Solitudes, The Other Side, and Full Circle


	88. The other women

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**Take 88: The other women**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sam, I need to be honest with you."

"What is it, Jack?"

"You're not the only woman in my life."

"Excuse me!?"

"I'm not a one woman man. I'm actually in love with three other women."

"S-Sir, I don't understand."

"That's one of the women-the one I fell in love with first-Colonel Carter. Although, she was known as Captain Carter when I fell in love with her."

"Don't scare me like that, Jack."

"I'm just trying to be honest with you Sam. I've loved Captain Carter for a long time. Then she was Major Carter. Someday she will be General Carter, which just makes me relieved I always called her dad Jacob. Colonel Carter is strong, tough, and resourceful. I've often trusted her with my life. She can face down any obstacle put in her path. I especially love the fact that she follows my every whim-I mean legal order. "

"Funny, _Sir._"

"Because if I told her to follow my every whim, Colonel Carter would kick my ass."

"And don't you forget it."

"The second woman I feel in love with was Samantha. Samantha is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She looks fantastic in blue because it brings out her eyes. Her eyes are the kind of blue that someone could drown in. Her golden hair brightens my day. And her body, well let's just say-"

"Jack, not in front of the boys."

"Fine. But I'm planning on continuing that later as part of a visual inspection."

"Promise?"

"Oh yeah. But that brings me to Doctor Carter. Doctor Carter is beyond brilliant. Normally I wouldn't go for that, because it makes me feel dumb. But her brilliance is accompanied by humility. If anyone does not need to be humble, it's Doctor Carter. Doctor Carter's brilliance has literally saved multiple galaxies. Most of the time, I don't understand what she says, but it really doesn't matter. I trust her, and I depend on her, especially after I do something stupid. However she always corrects me it in a way that makes me feel less stupid."

"Just remember Doctor Carter gets jealous of other Doctor Carters."

"None of them would never measure up to the genuine article. I know. I've tried. But that just leaves you, Sam. The only other woman I love. It took me a long time to love Sam. Sure I've loved Sam as a friend for a long time. Sam is a fiercely loyal and caring friend. However, I never really _knew_ Sam that well. In fact, I'm still getting to know her. The more I learn, the more I love. I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life learning and loving her more."

"I'm looking forward to it, too. So do you want me to talk about all of the men I love?"

"No, Sam. I'm not that complex."

"Who says I was talking about you?"


	89. Where is it?

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**Take 89: Where is it?**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Jack, I can tell something is bothering you. What is it?"

"Oh, it's just something that been bugging me for seven years."

"No, it's something else. It isn't because of what we finally did last night, is it? Are you having second thoughts?" 

"No. No. Nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

"More like where."

"Where is it? I don't understand."

"I spend a significant amount of time looking for it last night. I couldn't find it." 

"Find what?"

"Your mole."

"My mole. Oh, that's what you were doing last night. You were looking for my mole. I thought you were just taking your time."

"So where is it?"

"Back at the old Alpha Site. The explosion was more effective at removing it than any doctor would be. That area is scarred over now."

"I waited too long."

"For the mole, yes. However tonight we should take a guided tour over each other's scars. That should make up for it."

"Yes it will."

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A/N: I just ran across "This is why we have Rules" by gothfeary. I especially liked Chapter 7 (Rule 140 - Don't take Thor drinking), which had a familiar feel to it. The rules are taken from "Things Not To Do At The SGC".


	90. Pointless

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**Take 90: Pointless**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"So what now, Sir?"

"I don't know. I just thought after this perfect ending, anything else would seem...pointless."

"Pointless? Sir...umm...Jack...we haven't even..."

"I know. I should have planned something after this. I just don't know what to do."

"Sir, you're about to become a Major General in the United States Air Force. Are you telling me that you don't have a plan?"

"I guess I am."

"Wow."

"I know. A little disappointing. See the problem is in my professional life, I've been great at plans...especially plan B's."

"I remember."

"But in my personal life, I've always just gone with the flow. When I was at home, Sara was always in charge. I don't even know how Laira and Kerry happened. They just took over. You know what this means, Sam?"

"What?"

"It means you are going to have to stop being a Lieutenant Colonel and start giving me some orders. Otherwise, we might hang in limbo for another eight years."

"Really? You want me to give you orders?"

"Pa-leasse do. Just outside of work, of course. At work, you know I usually follow your advice anyway, but orders might be frowned upon."

"I think I'm going to enjoy this more than I ever dreamed I would."

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A/N: I'm posting two a day from here on out to round out the total at 100. Please let me know which one of the hundred is your favorite.


	91. Hallucinations

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**Take 91: Hallucinations**

Category for this take: Angst / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"I feel I need to apologize, Sir."

"Apologize? What for? You never need to apologize for anything to me."

"Well, maybe not apologize, but explain."

"I don't know what you need to explain, but explain away."

"It all started with the Prometheus and my massive concussion. The concussion and my lack of sleep made me hallucinate."

"I don't remember you saying anything about that."

"I didn't. I was on medical leave no matter what so it didn't seem relevant. The hallucinations were very personal."

"In what way?"

"They represented the most important people in my life: Dad, Daniel, Teal'c, this little girl, and you. Each person wanted something different from me. Daniel wanted me to explore. Teal'c told me not to trust what I saw and to be cautious. The girl wanted me to give up and play with her. She was blowing bubbles, which actually gave me the idea to get myself out."

"That leaves your dad and me."

"Dad wanted me to be happy. He said it's time to let go of the things that prevented me from finding happiness. That I deserved to love someone and be loved in return."

"You do."

"He said almost the same thing just before he died. My real dad, that is, not the hallucination."

"I got that."

"On the Prometheus, I thought it meant I needed to let go of my dream of us. I thought he meant that dream was holding me back from being happy. Your hallucination told me you were a safe bet."

"I am."

"Well, at the time, I thought that meant I was using you as an excuse not to find happiness with someone else. Two weeks later, I went out with Pete."

"Ah."

"I over thought it. I didn't realize that my dad did not mean you were in the way of my happiness. It was the freaking regs that were in the way."

"Well they won't be for much longer. Just thirteen hours, twenty-two minutes until your transfer is official."

"Thank God for that."

"So this subconscious version of me-"

"-wanted me to call him Jack."

"That explains the infirmary."

"He was a really good kisser, too. I'm looking forward to a full comparison tonight."

"You kissed him, huh? Well, I happen to know you won't be disappointed."

"You _know_?"

"Well, since you are coming clean about secret kisses with imagined versions of me, I figured I should come clean about Groundhog Day."

"You didn't."

"Oh yeah I did...right in the middle of the control room...right in front of Hammond."

"That's why you looked so smug!"

"Ohhhh yeaaahhhh. I did resign first."

"I still don't understand why that is the only regulation you insisted on following."

"I didn't trust myself otherwise. I cared more about your career than mine. I still have a question about your hallucination team. Who was the girl?"

"I never figured that out. She said her name was Grace."

"Really? That was my mom's name. Funny that."

"So, Jack, do you forgive the heartache that I caused because of some misinterpreted advice from my subconscious?"

"You mean do I forgive your fantasized make-out session with me and do I forgive your dreams of a girl with the name I imagined for our daughter, if we ever have one? Think nothing of it. You're forgiven."


	92. A river in Egypt

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**Take 92: A river in Egypt**

Category for this take: Romance / Angst

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, what's next?"

"Next?"

"For us. You know me. I need a plan."

"Well since I'm being forced into Hammond's old job as Head of Homeworld, our plan is shot to hell."

"So...time for..."

"Plan B."

"Right. What's plan B?"

"I'm open to ideas, Carter"

"We've waited for eight years already."

"I really don't want to wait."

"Retirement and reassignment as civilians are out."

"Right, even if we were hired back as civilians, the IOA would force some kind of oversight. Neither of us trusts the IOA."

"Chain of command options are out."

"I could try to call in a favor."

"You can't do that, Sir. Both of us agree with the regs. While we've been able to work despite our 'issues', we wouldn't want to be a precedent for others who might not handle it as well."

"So where does that leave us?"

"No more setups or fiancés for me."

"There's only one person I want to date, and she's sitting next to me."

"We can't really date."

"Why not?"

"That's against the regs."

"Ok, but we could go out as friends, who like to dress up for the evening. And I might pay because you know us two stars. We get the big bucks."

"Hmm, I won't be getting combat pay anymore."

"And jewelry gifts are just a courtesy because no one wants to buy jewelry for themselves."

"Jewelry?"

"I'm sure we could find some cold places where we might need to preserve body heat."

"I get really cold at night. Of course we wouldn't call that cuddling. I sometimes have trouble breathing. It's an undiagnosed condition."

"I guess I could help with that. I have good lungs. I'm selling my place in the Springs, so I don't have any place to stay when I'm in Nevada or Colorado."

"And I don't have any place to stay in Minnesota or DC."

"Friends bunk at each other's places all the time."

"Other than that, we just wait until you really retire."

"Which could be any day now, Sam"

"We can keep telling ourselves that, Jack"

"You like plan B? I think it will work."

"Me too. Plan B, the Denial Plan."


	93. Cliché

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**Take 93: Cliché**

Category for this take: Parody

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"When we're done here, I was thinking you could give me a ring, we going inside and keep each other awake all night."

"Isn't that a cliché? 'First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby in a baby carriage.'"

"Is that a problem?"

"Nope."

"But twins named Jacob and Grace-"

"THAT would be a cliché"


	94. Avoiding a cliché

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**Take 94: Avoiding a cliché**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, why does everyone think we have to get together now that I accepted your invitation to this cabin?"

"I know. A bunch of people were placing bets before we left. All bets were either we were getting together, or we're going to totally blow it and die alone. A few were betting on both-we'd get together and then blow it."

"That's such a..."

"Cliché. I know."

"So what do you think we should do?"

"Like anything would happen with the chaperones here. Instead I had Daniel place a proxy bet. His cut is 20%, by the way. So Sam, how about the Tuesday after we get back? O'Malley's?"

"Ok. And afterwards, we'll go to my place because _I_ know how to lock the doors.

"It's a date, Sam."


	95. Alien influence

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**Take 95: Alien influence**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Could we go over the plan again, Sir?"

"Do we have to? I think this is all a waste of time. And considering what this plan is for, maybe you should call me Jack."

"Sorry, habit. The plan, Jack?"

"Fine. Next week, I transfer to DC. The week after, you transfer to Area 51. A week after that, I start my tour of the facilities under my command: the SGC, Antarctica, the Alpha, Beta, and Gamma Sites, the F304 construction depot, a couple of our larger off-world mining operations, and Area 51."

"Don't forget Eureka."

"There is no way I'm going to that place without you there backing me up. What I don't understand is why Area 51 has to be last."

"After Area 51, do you really want to have to visit the mining operation on P4X-802?"

"Good point. So assuming the inspections go off without a hitch, I should be at Area 51 in thirty-three days."

"Actually, I've figured out a schedule that should cut off five days. I involves gate trips directly between off world bases to avoid coming back to the SGC and undergoing physicals. Also, if you can get the Prometheus in orbit at the right time, you can save two travel days for Antarctica."

"I was planning on just flying an F302. I need to keep up my hours to keep my flight pay."

"I guess that is ok. It would still cut off a day and a half."

"You really want my trip over soon, don't you, Carter?"

"You have no idea. Well maybe you do."

"So while I'm gallivanting around the galaxy, you'll be whipping the egg heads into shape."

"You make it sound like I'm making an omelet. We're going to be integrating the final systems in the Daedelus. Then there's the backlog of close to two hundred artifacts that need to be studied. Also, I have two new naquada generator designs I've been wanting to test. One is more portable for emergency gate dialing. In a few years, I hope to have a pocket version. The other design is industrial strength for long term use after we relocate a large village. Those are going to be needed for some of the relocations of human slave populations away from the Jaffa."

"Sounds like you really don't need me at Area 51, Carter."

"Don't even kid about that, Jack. I work better on a deadline. Since I'm going to be 'the man', I'm going to be able to delegate most of the grunt work, like the generator construction. We're never going to catch up on the artifact backlog. I'm just going to prioritize the work for the rest of the staff. Of course you know one of the artifacts that I'm going to be working on personally when you come for your inspection."

"You mean the sex machine?"

"It's not a 'sex machine'."

"That's what everyone is calling it after 'The Incident."

"You mean when Felger and Chloe-"

"Ah, ah. We do not describe the incident. That's why it is referred to as 'The Incident'. Do we really have to use it?"

"We're not going to actually use it. It's a cover."

"I never understood this part of the plan. We have been given permission."

"What they said was they would have no problem with the two of us specifically as a couple. We've more than proven ourselves. However, they do not want to set a precedent."

"We're getting married, Sam. Married couples are allowed to serve together."

"Technically, I'll still be in your chain of command right before we get married. They just need an excuse, Jack."

"So we are really going with the 'alien influence' excuse? You think they'll buy that?"

"Everyone will know what we are really doing. The plan gives them plausible deniability. Like when the Asgard stepped in to change the color of the sun on K'Tau. Also, Walter told me the CSAF added money to the pool under the 'alien influence' category last week. Considering he knows you are transferring to DC, away from alien influences..."

"It was a signal. It's a good thing I decided to let Walter keep the pool open."

"It has been useful since you got him to agree to pass inside information to us."

"Ok. So you are checking the sex machine out of lockup on the day I go to Area 51 for the inspection. We pretend it was activated, jump in a car, get married in Vegas, and spend the next several days of leave in a hotel room."

"And we live happily ever after. Yes, that's the plan."

"I guess we have had a few more complicated plans than that, Sam. My question is what is plan B?"

"I haven't gotten that far. You're right, though. Most of the time, we've needed a plan B."

"How about I find the nearest flat surface and throw you down on it?"

"As much as I love that idea, especially right now when faced with the prospect of waiting four weeks, how do we justify it?

"We could claim PTSD. Or better yet, we could claim to be alternate Jack and alternate Sam, from a universe identical to this one is all respects except for the frat regs. You were conducting an experiment in the alternate universe that swapped us."

"Let's try plan A first. If that doesn't work, we'll go with your alternate universe plan, Jack."

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A/N: If you like the Eureka reference, read the hilarious "Road Trip" by NotJana. It's a post-Continuum SG-1/pre-time travel Eureka crossover. You don't have to be a big Eureka follower to enjoy it.


	96. Honeymoon spots

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**Take 96: Honeymoon spots**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Do you have any places in mind for the honeymoon, Jack?" 

"There's that one planet where the beaches go on for miles."

"Remember, it's was settled by some of the plant workers four years ago."

"There's enough beach space. If you're worried about your fair skin, I promise to spend hours making certain that you sunscreen has been properly applied."

"We'll be greeted at the gate as Jonah and Terra. I really don't want the reminder of four lost years."

"Fine. What planet do you suggest?"

"I'm not sure about the whole off-world honeymoon idea. Most of the friendly planets do not have indoor plumbing. I'm an outdoor girl when on a mission, but this is a honeymoon, not a mission. If we go to one of the civilized planets, we'll get drawn into the local politics. They are all falling over each other to side themselves with the defeaters of Anbuis and the replicators. Most of them are a little worried about the Free Jaffa Nation."

"So they would bug us because we're friends with Teal'c. I hate politics. Good thing I'm transferring to DC. So you really think there isn't a single off-world getaway for us, Sam?"

"To be honest, I have this feeling that going off-world for our honeymoon is just asking for Ba'al to rediscover the planet and attack."

"So where on _Earth_ to want to go? We could just come back to the cabin."

"No. Don't get me wrong. I love it here. However, this is going to be a regular vacation spot. Our honeymoon should be someplace special."

"No regular spots. Got it. That rules out your lab, too. I know it's your favorite place, but we're not staying there for our honeymoon."

"Of course not, Jack. However if you want to disable the security cameras sometime, we could spend a little time there. I've had this fantasy-"

"We've both had that fantasy. So are beaches out, or are just beach planets out?"

"Some place with a beach and indoor plumbing would be great. If we are on an ocean, we could go deep sea fishing one day."

"Nah. Too much work. I prefer quiet fishing. Also, I doubt that I'll want to spend the greater part of a day that far from our bedroom."

"Good point. So we've decided we want a beach, indoor plumbing, a very comfortable bed, and room service so we don't have to go out much."

"That gives us several dozen choices."

"I'll narrow it down on my laptop tonight."

"Ok. As long as you don't spend too much time on that laptop. I might get jealous."

"No matter where it is, plan on packing light. I don't expect either of us to wear many clothes."

"Yeah, about that. What's with the large suitcase you brought here?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to need more clothing this trip because the guys are here. Most of the suitcase is stuff I plan on leaving here for our next visit. That way, I don't have to pack anything the next time a ZPM shows up right before we are supposed to leave."

"Don't you have enough toys, Sam?"

"Never."

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A/N: Where should Jack and Sam go on a honeymoon?


	97. Dutch courage

A/N: By virtue of being the 200th reviewer, I'm going with black widow mistress's choice of the honeymoon spot for Take 96… Australia. She might be biased, though.

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**Take 97: Dutch courage**

Category for this take: Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Here you go. Have a beer."

"No thanks, Daniel."

"What!? You, Jack O'Neill, are turning down a beer."

"No beer for me today."

"Me neither, Daniel."

"What's going on? Sam?"

"Sam normally drinks because she's nervous around me socially-"

"-and Jack normally drinks to dull the pain of us not being together-"

"-but today we are both happy. Sam doesn't want to drink anything that might make her forget today-"

"-and neither Jack nor I want him to drink too much because that might cause performance problems later."

"Ahh! Ok. I get it now. Please stop that cute finishing each other's thoughts thing before you make me visualize something I'll regret. Forget I was ever here."

"If you want to be really helpful, Danny boy, you could actually not be here tonight. Or if you are, I would recommend ear plugs."


	98. Fourth wall

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**Take 98: The fourth wall**

Category for this take: Parody / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"This is ridiculous!"

"Just ignore them, Sir."

"I'm sorry, but I can't anymore! This is just too much! This is _my_ freaking cabin. They have no right to set up a boom camera over the pond, or have some creepy guy with tripod behind us as we fish."

"They followed us on hundreds of missions over the last eight years. Watched us get captured and tortured numerous times. Several times they let part of us think others on the team were dead. They even forced us to build a second F301 so they could film your test flight."

"Theirs didn't have a recall device, so they had a really hard time keeping up with us then. I especially liked it when they froze their asses off while we were stranded in Antarctica."

"That was funny. Considering they have ascended a couple of times just to film Daniel, did you really expect them to leave us alone at your cabin?"

"I guess not, Sam. It would have been nice to have some privacy when I...and when you...you know."

"Don't worry about it, Jack. We might not have privacy now, but this show they are filming is not on Showtime anymore. So that means our late night activities will be private. What I have planned would never be allowed on basic cable."


	99. Planning the future

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**Take 99: Planning the future**

Category for this take: General / Romance

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Sir, I was curious. Who is replacing you at the SGC?"

"Major General Hank Landry. I've served with him before. He's a good man. He's good at tactics, and he's managed a base before."

"Not someone from inside the program, though."

"No. There weren't a lot of choices from those in the know. Most had cushy jobs in DC and don't want to be back on the front line."

"Like your new job, Sir."

"Sure, rub it in. Frankly, I think some of those stuffed shirts at the Pentagon like politics. Anyway, Landry was the top choice from those outside the program. Don't worry. I already let him know exactly how important you are to the program. You'll get the royal treatment when you visit the SGC."

"Thank you, Sir, but that was unnecessary."

"Maybe, but everything I said was true. There's something I probably shouldn't tell you, but I'm going to anyway."

"What is that?"

"You were on the short list."

"The short list for what?"

"Command of the SGC."

"Yeah, right. Really funny, Sir."

"I'm serious."

"I'm only a Lieutenant Colonel. I thought it is supposed to be a two star billet."

"They made an exception for me. They seriously considered making an exception for you."

"Now I'm really worried about our leaders. I'm not even the highest ranking SG team leader. Colonel Reynolds has more experience being in charge of the base when you or Hammond were off duty."

"Reynolds was on the short list, too. He's not as experienced in negotiations and is still needed on SG-3 as the premier recon, rescue, and reinforcement team. He's a guy you want guarding your back, not as a leader of a whole base. You directly saved the world more as a Captain than he has in his entire career. You do have a similar issue to Reynolds. You're needed in the lab. But with a good XO, you would have less paperwork and would still have time for your science thing. You'd still get your fun time."

"Maybe so, but a Lieutenant Colonel can't order Colonels around."

"As if you didn't already do that off world. The leader of SG-1 was always in charge of the mission, even if Reynolds, Ronson, or Pendergast was around. After eight years, everyone at the SGC respected you enough to follow your directions, even when you couldn't technically order them around. I almost always did, and by his last year, Hammond did, too. The only time I had to give you orders was to clear your conscious or make you stop working."

"Why are you telling me all of this, Sir?"

"I'm telling you this, Colonel, because someday you _are _going to be in charge of the SGC. Landry is closer to retirement than I am, although if everything goes according to my plan, we might retire around the same time. The President and Joint Chiefs really like you. They asked me to start grooming you to replace him."

"Grooming me? Do they know...about us... about what we want... eventually?"

"Carter, _everyone_ knows. However, we both know that neither one of us is retiring until we are certain it is safe to do so."

"I know. It's hard to enjoy the white picket fence when the world that has that white picket fence could be destroyed."

"I only trust the world's safety to three people: Hammond, you, and me. Nobody else _really_ gets it. Or if they get it, they wouldn't know how to fix it. With Hammond retiring, that leaves us. It also means I can't retire until you are someplace where you have some authority to prevent the idiots from destroying the world."

"No pressure. I see some problems with your plan. The first is I'm at least eight years from making two stars."

"Five years. They'll make a one star exception for you, just like me. Heck, they considered making a no star exception. It's not like Weir had any stars. However, in five years, you're likely to make Brigadier. If it weren't for Simmons' witch hunt and the Orlin fiasco, you would have received your last promotion a year sooner. Assuming the President wins reelection in a couple years, he'll still be in office. I know his short list would have a General Carter at the top of it."

"You mentioned grooming..."

"Right. Your tactical and negotiation skills are not a problem. You understand the science better than anyone else ever would, and you have a firm grasp of the politics. There are only three areas your resume needs some work. The first is administrative experience. Your SG-1 paperwork was excellent, but head of R&D at Area 51 looks a lot better. The second area is leadership and command experience. SG teams are small, so you don't have experience wrangling a squadron. Also, it's not like you had to order Teal'c or Daniel to do anything other than work less. I was thinking you should see about a tour on the Prometheus as XO. The current XO will be on paternity leave in about three months. The XO position would balance well with the SG-1 team lead on your résumé. The last area is a marquee stepping stone position. Head of R&D is good, but you won't be in charge of a base. SG-1 team lead worked for me, but might not hold as much weight five years from now. I was thinking off-world base commander, although currently many of those positions are for lower ranks. Maybe a replacement will be needed at Atlantis. Or maybe if enough 304s are built after Russia and China get theirs, there would be one with your name on it."

"Wow, you really have my whole career planned out. What if I decided I want something else more?"

"Sam, we're going to have that too. If we take it slow, don't flaunt it, and don't make it official until I retire, they are going to let it slide. I've already stated that as your 'mentor' I won't be writing any more of your evals."

"My 'mentor'?"

"They understood it was code for boyfriend."

"Ok. I guess we've waited eight years. I can wait five more."

"We won't be completely waiting."

"I get it Jack. Just nothing legal... for now."

"The long distance thing might be hard, Sam."

"But if we can sort of be together, even in some complicated way, and if we can be completely together at the end of this journey while still keeping the world safe-"

"It'll be worth it."

"Definitely."


	100. Groundhog Day

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**Take 100: Groundhog Day**

Category for this take: Romance / Humor

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_"This is great."_

_"I told ya!"_

_"I can't believe we didn't do this years ago."_

_"Yes, well, let's not dwell."_

_"Didn't that tape say there were no fish in your pond?"_

_"Close enough."_

XXXXX

"Soooo, Carter... Sam... I was thinking we shouldn't wait any longer. You never know if we might be stuck in a time loop. This might be our only chance. If it _is_ our only chance, we better take advantage of it."

"Nice line. It's the 'world is coming to an end' line with a stargate twist."

"Did it work?"

"It just might have, except you do remember we destroyed the device on P4X-639. Don't you?"

"There might be another device. The Ancients were the galaxy's biggest litterbugs."

"However, they only seemed to create one of each of these failed projects. I doubt there is another time looping device out there, Jack."

"Or we could be stuck in that Gamekeeper's virtual-brain suck thing, forced to explore the infinite possibilities."

"Of course that means there is no hurry-"

"Ok. Bad example. So back to this idea of time loops. Maybe it is a slightly different ancient time loop device... Maybe we're in one that requires two people who are meant to be together to get everything right and fulfill their destiny."

"That line is even less plausible. But no worries. You're a lot sexier than Bill Murray. I'm sure you won't have as much trouble as he did. Speaking of Groundhog Day, the stargate event, not the date or the movie… What did actually happen last time? I know you did something. We must have done something. I remember the smirk."

"I resigned in the control room, dipped you, and we kissed. That's all. I promise."

"Oh."

"You sound disappointed. You know I wouldn't have taken advantage of you."

"I know. Believe me when I say you wouldn't have been taking advantage if we did more."

"You're disappointed that we didn't do more?"

"No. It's not like I would have remembered. It just... if we kissed just that once, it must not have been that great, considering we haven't kissed since."

"Sam, believe me when I say that even though that kiss was interrupted by a restart of the time loop, it was memorable enough to sustain me for over four years. I can't wait until we ditch the guys and pick up where we left off."

"Do you really want to do this now?" 

"You can't seriously be thinking of waiting another night."

"Jack, I just thought we shouldn't risk it, in case we are in this hypothetical time loop. We might think we only got together because of the apparent lack of consequences."

"Sam, we could think of a hundred ways of finally getting together. The truth is I love you and the way we get together doesn't matter."

"I love you, too. You're right, Jack. All that matters is that we _are_ together. "


	101. Thanks

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**Take BTS**

Category for this take: Thanks

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A/N: That's it. I did it. One hundred ways season eight could have ended if it were a few seconds or minutes longer. No extra sets or camera setups required. I hope you enjoyed them.

If anyone who wants to run with one of these ideas, please feel free to do so. Just drop me a PM when you post so I don't miss your story. I'm obviously a sucker for post season 8 fics. A couple ideas that have been requested already are:  
- A Stargater's Guide to the Galaxy (from Take 42)  
- Life as a Descended Being (from Take 86)  
Dance lessons were also suggested (from Take 48), but that has already been written at least once ("May I Have this Dance" by Cathain Nottingham)

The "favorite" stories by review count are:  
1) 29. Pet names / 79. Giggling  
2) 9. Thanksgiving / 37. Black widow / 42. Life, the universe and everything

Some that have been named as favorites by reviewers:  
11. Why are we here? / 39. Christmas charms / 81. Daniel / 98. Fourth Wall

Some of my other favorites:  
10. Euphemism / 13. NASA / 16. As seen on TV / 18. Just trust the genius / 24. In the middle of my... / 28. Paperwork / 38. Misunderstanding? / 58. Plan of attack / 80. Wooing / 86. Descended mistakes

Thanks to all of you reviewers and everyone else who simply stopped by. Special thanks to **dpdp** and **black widow mistress** for reviewing an incredible number of times. The steady encouragement of your reviews was much appreciated.

Back to my real life...for now.


End file.
